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Writing Samples
Band 7

What is the importance of the English language and should it be mandatory or not and what is the role of the government in protecting the nation language

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In
this
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 contemporary epoch,
English
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language
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 learning has become an important part of individuals' education, and its significance can be equal to or higher than learning the native dialect. I believe that acquiring a second
language
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 should be mandatory for all students in order to survive in
this
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 competitive job market and be able to master their education.
To begin
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 with, it can be witnessed that bilingual employees are highly required by many multinational companies, so in order to obtain a well-paid job, an individual must study the
English
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language
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.
In other words
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, when there is a job interview, the participant with foreign knowledge will be selected for the career. A prime example is a survey, which was conducted by some university students in Iraq. It revealed that young people who have an advanced level of the
English
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language
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 have better chances than those who speak Arabic. What can be said is that studying the
English
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language
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 from a young age can be extremely helpful in both the professional and the academic lives.
Nevertheless
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, despite the fact that the
English
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language
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 has a huge impact on people's lives, the government should preserve the original one by launching awareness campaigns. To illustrate, if locals maintain their languages, they can stay in touch with their cultures and traditions.
For example
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, a research paper conducted by Time magazine revealed that one of the best methods to maintain a nation's heritage is its dialect.
Hence
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, perceiving the country's accent is not only a knowledge gate but
also
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 pivotal for
the
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apply
show examples
cultural identity. In conclusion,
after
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this
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 essay has manifested the above-mentioned maintained points, it can be reiterated that
although
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 having a fundamental level of the
English
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language
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 can lead to impressive growth, it is necessary to conserve the original dialect. I am of the belief that it is the pupils’ responsibility to gain the
English
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language
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.

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, make sure to fully develop each idea in the body paragraphs. For example, you could add more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically organized, but try to use more linking words and cohesive devices to ensure the flow of the essay is even smoother. This will help enhance the reader's experience.
task achievement
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing which can affect the clarity of your ideas. Editing your essay a few times can help minimize these issues.
task achievement
Your introduction is engaging and sets a good context for the discussion. It clearly outlines the main points that will be addressed in the essay.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples to support your points, such as the survey conducted by university students in Iraq. This helps to validate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your essay, reinforcing your main argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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