Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past.Some people think changes have been positive by others believe they have been negative.Discuss both views and give your opinion. Show ideas and vocabulary / Find essays with the same topic / Report

#lifestyles #people #changes #show #vocabulary #essays #topic #report

There

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been vast changes in the lifestyle of individuals from

olden

Correct article usage

the olden

show examples

days compared to recent times. Some people opine

these varied lifestyle

Change the determiner

this varied lifestyle

these varied lifestyles

show examples

have been advantageous whilst others think

otherwise

This

essay seeks to look at both sides of the

arguement

Correct your spelling

argument

. My opinion is,

these

Correct word choice

that these

show examples

changes have had negative

as well as

positive

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

show examples

To begin

with, indecent dressing is a key problem of today.

This

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a result of blindly copying Western

lifestyles

which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

deemed modern.

This

has become possible because of easy access to the daily

lifestyles

of celebrities abroad via social media platforms. The main drawback

with

Change preposition

show examples

this

is increased rates of teenage pregnancies and sexual assault on account of females wearing seductive and revealing clothes.

Also

, violence is on the rise

due to

display

Correct article usage

the display

show examples

of violent movies on our television screens. A publication in the New York Times reported the victim of the 2012 Chicago school shooting by a teenager was

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a result of movies watched by the

perpetretor

Correct your spelling

perpetrator

perpetrators

. In view of

this

, it cannot be overemphasized the negative effects of Modern

lifestyles

in our daily living. Despite the

above stated

Add a hyphen

above-stated

show examples

facts, there are improved ways of learning.

Thus

On-line

Correct your spelling

Online

show examples

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

adapted

Correct your spelling

adopted

show examples

by many. A

personn

Correct your spelling

person

can enrol with an educational institution and choose their own time and place to be taught and study.

This

allows for convenience and easy accessibility in spite of how busy life has become.

Hence

, there is some positivity with modern

lifestyles

. In conclusion, I agree our ways of living nowadays differ from the past with some benefits and drawbacks to it

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Submitted by nmaureen03 on Sat Jun 29 2024

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task achievement

To improve the task response, you should elaborate more on both positive and negative aspects and give a more detailed opinion. Currently, the essay touches on both sides but lacks depth in certain areas.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. Current transitions can be improved to maintain a better flow throughout the essay.

general

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage. There are some minor errors and awkward phrasings that can be refined for a clearer and more professional expression.

introduction conclusion present

The essay introduces the topic and provides a clear thesis statement at the beginning, which helps in setting the context for the reader.

supported main points

You have included specific examples, like the reference to the 2012 Chicago school shooting, which help in illustrating your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past.Some people think changes have been positive by others believe they have been negative.Discuss both views and give your opinion. Show ideas and vocabulary / Find essays with the same topic / Report

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. others disagree and think that the host contry should welcome cultural differences. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much. Do you agree or disagree? What other types of job should be highly paid?

Art should be a compulsory class for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?