IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, teachers were the main source of information, but today students have a wide source of information, so teachers are no longer important in modern education. Do you agree or disagree?

#teachers #source #information #students #education
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While
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 I concede that tutors were more important in the past education system, I am mostly opinion that
availability
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the availability
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 of many learning tutorials,
methods
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and methods
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decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
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 the necessity of
teachers
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. Admittedly, for some people, offline learning is better than other methods
due to
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 various factors, and it depends on individuals’ personal preferences. Learning with
teachers
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 has more advantages like assessments and feedback. These two points are the main method of deep learning. Every learner needs someone who checks their knowledge level and holds numerous tests
toimprove
Correct your spelling
to improve
 their skills. It is undeniable that
,
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apply
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 motivation and encouragement are the crucial parts of doing something, like learning. The effect of talking with professionals and their motivation about their majority will
be increase
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increase
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 the desire to be the best in
this
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 field. Nowadays, so many learners need encouragement and strong motivation. On the flip side, self-study through social networks or other different sides
allow
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allows
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 learners to acquire information directly. In online
platforms
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platforms,
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 there are most
teachers
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, and they have various teaching methods, and they allow students to learn their lessons through these platforms. Learning something from one teacher may not be as effective as learning from multiple people, because there are countless individuals who have acquired
this
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 information, and they can share their experiences. Another factor is limitless digital books on social media,
on
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and on
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library
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the library
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 and it allows people
learn
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to learn
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 directly from primary sources. I think it will be better
from learning
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to learn
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 someone’s knowledge. In conclusion, I concede that
teachers
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 may not be considered crucial in modern education compared to books or self-study.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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task achievement
Your introduction briefly mentions the main argument but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Be sure to consistently address both sides of the argument. At times, your essay leans heavily towards the benefits of self-study without fully exploring the importance of teachers.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is generally clear, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, clearer topic sentences for each paragraph could help guide the reader.
relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. While you mention digital books and social media, detailed examples would enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly outlines both sides of the argument, which is a strong approach.
task achievement
Your points about motivation, encouragement, and feedback are well-presented and relevant to the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
The language used is generally clear and understandable, which helps convey your ideas effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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