In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However in some other cities bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion which one is better?

Over the past few decades, some metropolis areas all over the world have observed a replacement of
cars
by
bicycles
,
whereas
the opposite was true for some others. In light of
this
, the writer contends that the increase in personal finance
along with
awareness of the environment are the root causes for these changes,
while
the preference for
bicycles
is more beneficial for personal fitness improvement. When it comes to the fact that
cars
are replacing
bicycles
, the constantly increasing finance of
individuals
is one of the most fundamental reasons. To clarify, since human abilities have been significantly improved thanks to the academic education that goes
along with
vocational training courses, people are now well-prepared with foundational knowledge and job-related skills to address the most challenging tasks relating to their careers. These
individuals
,
therefore
, are going to be promoted to more important positions in corporations,
thus
landing a more sufficient income and opting to make an investment in their personal values, purchasing
cars
,
for instance
.
As a result
,
this
leads to the rise in car ownership in numerous developed cities these days. Some cities,
however
, are observing a noticeable alteration in dwellers’ preference for
cars
over
bicycles
.
This
is
due to
the fact that environmental pollution in urban areas is one of the most concerning social issues, especially air pollution deriving mostly from carbon dioxide emissions from the excessive
use
of
cars
.
For
this
reason, in order to enhance their own living qualities, city residents are deciding to
use
more environment-friendly transportation
instead
, specifically
bicycles
. The firm opinion of
this
writer is that opting to
use
bicycles
as a core means of transportation is readily imperative for
individuals
to improve their fitness.
This
is because it is crucial to acknowledge that in adapting to an urban lifestyle, people are doing their work regardless of moving their bodies,
in other words
, leading a passive lifestyle.
This
problem, over time, may lead the young generation to suffer from numerous physical health-related illnesses. Obviously, by using
bicycles
more frequently, these pepl;e will have a chance to exercise themselves, thereby avoiding these disorders
such
as obesity. In conclusion, the changes in personal attitudes between
cars
and
bicycles
basically stem from the rise in
individuals
' level of income
as well as
consciousness of the polluted environment. It is,
in addition
, apparent that the more frequently people
use
bicycles
, the more benefits to society and themselves they can bring.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay effectively addresses the question, it can benefit from more specific examples to enhance the argument, particularly in the sections discussing the environmental impact and benefits of bicycles for personal fitness. Providing concrete data or case studies can strengthen the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure with clear transitions between paragraphs. However, there is room for improvement in the flow within paragraphs. Try to ensure each sentence smoothly leads into the next to maintain reader engagement.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the stage well, clearly presenting the two contrasting trends and the writer's stance on the matter.
complete response
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, covering both developments and offering a personal opinion supported by relevant reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • affluence
  • commuting distances
  • infrastructure
  • rapid growth
  • status symbol
  • environmental concerns
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable
  • liveable environments
What to do next:
Look at other essays: