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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.
The tables illustrate the number of how many
Fairtrade-labellled
Correct your spelling
Fairtrade-labelled
coffee
Use synonyms
 and bananas in five European
countries
Use synonyms
 were sold in 1999 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 in all five
countries
Use synonyms
 increased over the 5 years,
while
Linking Words
Belguim
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had fewer
fairtrade
Correct your spelling
fair trade
show examples
 in
banans
Correct your spelling
bananas
show examples
. Meanwhile, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 products saw a most remarkable upward in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. As is shown in
those two table
Change the determiner
that two table
those two tables
show examples
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 sold 1.5
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 in 1999,
while
Linking Words
 that figure went up to 20
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
 in 2004, which is highly beyond other
countries
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four
countries
Use synonyms
 including Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had the same rising tendency from 1999 to 2004, but the
increasement
Correct your spelling
increase in
 of
sales
Use synonyms
concerning
Verb problem
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 all under 3
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
Use synonyms
. As for
banans
Correct your spelling
bananas
show examples
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 both in 1999 and 2004, with 15
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 and 47
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 respectively. Coincidentally,
sales
Use synonyms
 of
bannas
Correct your spelling
bananas
also
Linking Words
 increased in Switzerland (from 1 to 5.5) and Denmark (from 0.6 to 4).
However
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 of
banans
Correct your spelling
bananas
show examples
 saw a downward in
Belguim
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
. In 1999, 1.8
million
Use synonyms
euros
Use synonyms
 of
bananse
Correct your spelling
bananas
balance
banana
 were sold in Belgium,
while
Linking Words
 that figure for 2004 was only 1
million
Use synonyms
. As for
Sweden
Use synonyms
, it started with 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 1999
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but fell to 0.9
million
Use synonyms
 in 2004.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, countries, sales, sweden, euros, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade sales
  • significant growth
  • trends and patterns
  • market expansion
  • sustainable consumption
  • ethical products
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • percentage increase
  • market share
  • profit margins
  • trade initiatives
  • consumer behavior
  • retail figures
  • economic indicators
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