In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for every one. To what extent do you agree?

If
students
want to study at
university
, they will have to pay expensive study
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
This
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
a disagreement that
university
education
sho
Correct your spelling
should
show examples
be free because not all
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
can afford
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I agree that
university
education
ought to be free because not all
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
can afford
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I agree that
university
education
ought to be free as it will greatly advantage both individuals and
society
. One good reason to abolish
university
frees is that it gives people whether they are rich or poor equal rights. High tuition
fees
prevents
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prevent
show examples
numerous poor
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
from attending universities.
This
not only
exculdes
Correct your spelling
excludes
a large proportion of
society
but
also
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
discriminatory which should
be avoid
Change the verb form
be avoided
show examples
in modern
society
.
Thus
university
education
should be free for everyone to promote fairness. Another point to consider is that having no
fees
at
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for
show examples
higher
education
reduces financial pressure on
students
and their
family
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families
show examples
.
For example
, 75% of UK
students
and their
family
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families
show examples
must do a part-time job to cover their
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
. If universities abolish tuition
fees
,
students
won’t need to work and study at the same time.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they can focus on studying and have a good academic performance which is the key to
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
future. In short, eliminating the cost of
university
brings benefits for
students
to focus on
shoolwork
Correct your spelling
school work
. The
last
reason is that free
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
will bring benefits whole
society
in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
run.
For instance
, the more
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
enter
university
, the more educated people the
society
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
. In big countries, they have lots of mental
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
because of studying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
education
.
As a result
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
countries can lead in various fields and get numerous economic advantages.
To sum up
, universities
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
rid of tuition
fees
can make more knowledgeable and
skillful
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skilful
show examples
people
to
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apply
show examples
develop their countries. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, having no
fees
at
university
can bring some benefits
both
Change preposition
to both
show examples
students
and
society
.
Submitted by mizh.nguyen on

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vocabulary
Consider diversifying your vocabulary to avoid repetition, especially of key phrases like 'university education ought to be free.'
grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity of your points. Simple errors, such as 'sho' instead of 'should' and 'shoolwork' instead of 'schoolwork,' can impact readability.
examples
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, citing data, studies, or historical precedents could make your points more compelling.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in contextualizing your argument.
argument
The argument for fairness and societal benefits is well-expressed and provides strong support for your main idea.
reasoning
You presented multiple viewpoints and supported them with logical reasoning, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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