In recent years sports stars have become increasingly famous and wealthy. For some this is a benefit, raising the profile of sports, but for others, it is a negative influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#years #sports #stars #benefit #profile #influence

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In recent years,

sports

stars

have become more famous and richer. Some people think

this

is good because it makes

sports

more popular. Others believe it has a negative impact.

This

essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. On one hand, the increased fame and wealth of

sports

stars

have many benefits. Famous

athletes

can inspire young people to participate in

sports

and stay healthy. Their visibility attracts more media attention, sponsorships, and money, which can improve

sports

facilities and training programs.

For example

, football

stars

like Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo have made football more popular worldwide, leading to more youth programs.

Additionally

, successful

athletes

often use their influence to support important causes and drive positive change in society.

On the other hand

, excessive fame and wealth can have negative effects. The pressure to maintain their status can lead

athletes

to prioritize personal gain over the sport itself.

This

can result in unethical

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

such

as using drugs to enhance performance, which damages the sport's reputation.

Furthermore

, the lavish lifestyles of wealthy

athletes

can set unrealistic expectations for young fans, making them value money over hard work and teamwork. The focus on individual

stars

can

also

overshadow the importance of collaboration in

sports

. In conclusion,

while

the fame and wealth of

sports

stars

can make

sports

more popular and inspire people,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

also

lead to unethical

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and misplaced values. In my opinion, the benefits can outweigh the drawbacks if

athletes

and

sports

organizations emphasize honesty, teamwork, and the true spirit of competition.

Submitted by vladislavikonnikov112 on Sun Jun 30 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score, provide more specific examples or expand on the examples provided to support your points more robustly. This will help deepen your argument and illustrate your points more vividly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is clearly linked to the next, making the flow of the essay even smoother. Try using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas, which will enhance the readability of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Adding counterarguments or addressing potential objections can help demonstrate critical thinking and balance. For example, you could discuss how some athletes manage to stay grounded despite their wealth and fame, and how this can serve as a positive model.

task achievement

The essay topic is clearly addressed, and both views on the issue are discussed thoroughly. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the task.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effectively used to frame the discussion and clarify the overall argument. This gives the essay a strong structure.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically organized, and the essay flows well from one idea to the next, maintaining a coherent structure.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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: Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Topic: Today more and more people want things instantly. Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?