In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?
It is undeniable that every person wants to live in a place with adequate facilities. To do
this
, there is an ever-increasing trend to migrate from rural areas to urban zones. It seems to me that this
could have adverse effects, and I will explain why in this
essay.
Firstly
, it is inevitable that this
phenomenon could contribute to a lack of food in a country thus
causing costs. By this
, we mean that, as it is obvious, the majority of people residing in the countryside are farmers. If they want to give up their farms and professions to move to cities, it can cause to rareness of some demanding products in the market leading to price increases. A further
issue relates to the rituals of a nation. This
widely-observed tendency could harm the traditions of a community in that most of them are existed by village residents. A good case in point is the results of research analyzing the challenges that the government of Iran faces due to
the immigration of rural families to big cities. In this
country, individuals are experiencing inflation in groceries and one of the Iranian historical events called "Gollab Giri" is going to disappear. Therefore
, this
movement could be negative in terms of living expenses and keeping our ancestors' ways.
Admittedly, I agree that it is a human right to live wherever they are comfortable and it is true that urban is convenient to live in compared to villages because of some facilities being built. However
, this
welfare could be provided in the countryside to encourage villagers to stay in their habitats and keep producing essential goods for society.
To conclude
, this
is not to say that moving to cities is completely impractical for rurales, but it seems reasonable for nations to build infrastructure in the countryside to prevent them from migrating to towns which could stabilize the prices. In addition
, this
might lead to preserving their original culture.Submitted by h.safaralizade on
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coherence cohesion
Consider providing a clearer distinction between your main points in the body paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Although you have several strong points, try to deepen your analysis. For example, explain more thoroughly how preserving traditions impacts society or provide additional examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant specific examples that support your arguments well.
task achievement
The essay offers clear and comprehensive ideas that adequately address the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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