Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.
These days, some
countries
have a good position, but other countries
most of which are developing districts need international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. In these situations, people
do not have the same idea. In fact; a group of people
believe financial aids are important things; however
, others think practical aid and advice. I subscribe second view because when we have money
without planning, then
we cannot evolve, yet devices and partial help can improve developed countries
.
On the one hand, money
is a good factor for upgrading health and sustainability; however
, when developing countries
do not have a schedule or people
who know how should they spend this
money
, the country cannot get better, for this
kind of government spending money
for own instead
of society. For instance
, 1000 years ago when the Iranian government was Ghajar; moreover
, Ghajar sold their country oils for money
and spent this
income on themselves, not to change people
's lives, medicine, or improve country firms.
On the other hand
, if global industries send specialist people
and facilities to developing countries
, then
citizens learning altered their ways; as a result
, after many times these kinds of countries
do not international help, for they access evolving knowledge. To illustrate, Korea in the past did not have any technology or company; nevertheless
, after Americans went to these countries
they learned how must they do from Americans; hence
, now Korea has its own technology, medicine, and other things. Also
, can change its situation to the best position.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay by separating ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should discuss one main point or idea to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you provide a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your position and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully. Make sure each point is clearly explained and supported with relevant examples. Try to be more specific and detailed in your explanations.
task achievement
Work on using more varied and precise vocabulary to express your points more effectively. This will help make your writing more engaging and convincing.
task achievement
You've addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the case of Iran and Korea, are relevant to the points you are making and add depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear opinion and your argument is consistent with that opinion throughout the essay, which strengthens your overall response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.