In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In some nations, kids claim that they can have accomplishments in any topic if they make so much effort.
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sentence has two aspects which consist of benefits and drawbacks. Each of them is related to psychological matters.
The advantages of the consequences of Linking Words
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message for children are improving self-confidence, and getting enthusiasm for following their goals. Linking Words
For instance
, a child has a dream of being a pilot of a plane. The selection road is tough but he tries to improve his knowledge by reading books and watching videos. When he gets older, gradually he goes to specific centres to learn the fundamentals of aviation. Passing Linking Words
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hard situation needs to have encouragement, passion, and patience to stay on his goal.
To flip side, the drawbacks of Linking Words
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statement are being depressed and unhappy about the result. Most children think fantasy and the result is unrealistic. The main reason is targeting a goal wrongly without any analysis. Linking Words
However
, not achieving a goal is not good but it is important when it happens to the person. If it occurs in children’s childhood, they find that they should select another way. Linking Words
For example
, being an astronaut hardly happens for a person who needs to pass many tests to achieve Linking Words
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.
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To conclude
, in some countries, kids are often told that they can achieve everything if they make hard attempts. In some situations, Linking Words
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mindset works properly but it is not a constant formula for every situation. Totally, children should know that ambition is not the only key to reaching a goal.Linking Words
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task achievement
Develop your examples more comprehensively to reinforce your arguments. Instead of briefly mentioning the examples, elaborate on them to make your points clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs better structuring of paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and flow naturally to the next. Try to work on the logical structure and ensure each paragraph is clearly linked with transitions.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas in greater detail. Currently, some ideas are mentioned quite briefly without sufficient development. Delve deeper into the points you raise.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
You have included relevant points regarding both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?