If racism and xenophobia are attitudes that we are taught , not born with, the problems that come from them can be resolved. Discuss the view and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, racism and xenophobia are becoming more and more discussed attitudes in the public.
Although
it is something we are taught during our lifetime, not born with, most population think it is just irrational hate for other people without any reason.
This
attitude is not something we were born with. All of the people come to
this
world without any political or moral opinions, it is something we all have to find out ourselves. Depending on individual's experiences and relationships with other collectives they determine their way of thinking about them. All of the people start from the same, neutral point though. It is evident that pure aggression and intolerance for others are indeed the problem,
however
, aversion for them is not always without any reason. The majority of it is caused by some actions that these groups,
such
as inadequate criminal rate among them regarding their numbers in society. As long as it is something we are taught, there are for sure some possibilities to resolve problems that come from it. One of the ways to fight
this
trend might be to look at the reasons for antipathy for particular communities and try to fix it at the source.
For example
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
could start some public campaign against criminal activities, aggression, drug addiction etc. Summoning all
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
, racism and xenophobia are something we are not born with, some folk during their lives are taught it
while
others aren't. Regarding that, we are able to fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the problems that come from them with our own attitude but
also
actions from local communities and government.
Submitted by piotrsmolik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage well but try to refine sentences to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to enhance logical flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is supported with specific, relevant examples or evidence for greater impact.
task achievement
Expand your ideas and provide more comprehensive explanations to ensure a thorough discussion of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay covers the task prompt well and provides a viewpoint supported by some reasons.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion frame the essay effectively, providing a coherent beginning and end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • xenophobia
  • sociocultural influences
  • upbringing
  • peer influence
  • media representation
  • multicultural education
  • inclusive curricula
  • anti-bias training
  • intercultural dialogue
  • anti-discrimination laws
  • affirmative action
  • diversity
  • self-awareness
  • personal reflection
  • globalization
  • prejudiced beliefs
  • inclusive programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: