IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that
intelligence
Use synonyms
 can best be judged by how successful a person becomes
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 others argue that
intelligence
Use synonyms
 should be measured in other ways that
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 show
youre
Correct your spelling
your
 capability.
I n
Use the right word
In
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 my opinion,
success
Use synonyms
 alone is not a very accurate measure of
Correct article usage
an individuals
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individuals
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individual's
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 mental
capabilityes
Correct your spelling
capabilities
,
in
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addition
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addition,
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 wealth alone
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
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 show
youre
Correct your spelling
your
 true natural gifts as
iq
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IQ
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.
This
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 is because
intelligence
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 includes a wide list of
abilitys
Correct your spelling
abilities
 and not all smart people achieve traditional forms of
success
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. In
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 place, money or anything materialistic shouldn’t be seen as an attribute of individuals ,because what really matters is emotional , academic and creative skills that only smart and
ambitional
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ambitious
 human beings could ever
accure
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acquire
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, as an example
Nikola
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, Nikola
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 Tesla
who
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, who
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 was an outstanding genius, but he
never really was
Correct word order
was never really
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recognized
Change the spelling
recognised
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 by anybody and was from a
low class
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low-class
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 family.
Anotherreason
Correct your spelling
Another reason
 is that achievements are strongly influenced by external factors
such
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 as family background, education, and life opportunities. Many intelligent individuals do not reach fame or financial
success
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due to
Linking Words
 discrimination, lack of resources, or bad luck.
For instance
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, a student from a low-income family may have
excelent problemsolving
Correct your spelling
excellent problem-solving
 skills but struggle academically because of limited access to quality education.
This
Linking Words
 shows that
intelligence
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 does not always lead to wealth or achievements. In conclusion , wealth and
success
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 alone are not a reliable measure of
intelligence
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 .
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 true capability is reflected in
peoples
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people's
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 creativity, problem-solving skills, and determination,
wich
Use the right word
which
show examples
 shows the true road to victory and happiness.

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task response
State a clear position in the opening sentence and keep this view in every paragraph.
task response
Develop each point with one or two explanations and connect them to your main idea. Add more examples.
coherence
Organize with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a topic sentence and a short link to the next.
coherence
Use shorter sentences and simpler links so the text is easy to read.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Correct words like realy, capabilities, accure, ambitional, wich.
vocabulary
Use simple words from the top 100 list. Keep ideas clear and direct.
content
You state that wealth and fame do not show real intelligence.
content
Tesla as an example shows you think about real life people.
structure
You try to argue both sides and give reasons.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • measure
  • intelligence
  • success
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • emotional intelligence
  • creativity
  • practical skills
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • capabilities
  • potential
  • privilege
  • correlate
  • hard work
What to do next:
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