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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

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Evolution has given every species some
strenghts
Correct your spelling
strengths
 to ensure their survival
, some
Punctuation problem
. Some
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 animals are fast, others are strong, but humans are the most intelligent
ones
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. It would be natural to assume that the most influential individuals are the smartest
ones
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 too ,
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however
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apply
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this
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 can be considered a vague way of measuring,
thus
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 there are multiple other ways to measure
brain
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 activity and potential. Considering the known examples of geniuses left unknown and famous people with a poor
decision making
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decision-making
 ability,
i
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I
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 would not consider
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ones
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one's
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 achievements as proof of their high
intelligence
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 level.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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intelligence
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 does not equal
brain
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 horse-power and it has many other shapes, some of which are still undiscovered. A man’s
intelligence
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 cannot be tested only by his
succes
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success
, but one’s succes can say a lot about his abilities. Entering the biggest Museums of the world, at least one piece of
art
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of
Change preposition
by
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 an unknown author, or
of
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by
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 an author
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 has
deceased
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died
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 in misery can be found.
Unfortunately
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Unfortunately,
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 a single human cannot be good at everything, which concludes that the best painter in the world might not be able to sell a single picture because of his weak ability to sell.
This
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 is exactly what has
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
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 to Van Gogh. Despite his ability to create unmatched pieces of
art
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 ,it is considered that he was miserable for almost all his life. Van Gogh was a pure genius of
art
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, at a level that was unreachable for the regular folk to understand
and
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, and
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 he did not sell more than 5 paintings for his whole career. I would position
this
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 as one of the most
known
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well-known
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 examples of someone with an uncontested talent to only be discovered after death.
Human
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The human
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brain
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 is still an unsolved puzzle , even for the smartest of our kind
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 at
this
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 point
of
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in
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time
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time,
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 there is no single way to make a conclusion about someone’s
brain
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 potential. Most of the people still consider smart and intelligent to be the same thing,
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however
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apply
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the reality is that there are many undiscovered yet types of weapons held by our
brain
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 that could offer a significant advantage. As mentioned before, a man can be
genius
Correct article usage
a genius
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 in
art
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 and have trouble selling or solving mathematical equations. Every human’s
brain
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 is unique
,
Correct word order
; thus,
show examples
thus
Linking Words
 everyone has a weapon that could be used in
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 search for achievements. A man
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 has achieved
succes
Correct your spelling
success
 has absolutely discovered and used his
brain
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opmtimally
Correct your spelling
optimally
. A good example of
such
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person
Correct article usage
a person
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 could be considered Steve Jobs, who was not a great engineer nor a great software developer, but he has evolved his selling abilities and visionary
ones
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 enough to be one of the most renowned people in history. In conclusion i would say that not everyone with
extrardinar
Correct your spelling
extraordinary
brain
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 abilities is destined to become successful, but it can be stated that every successful person has developed a personal form of
intelligence
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.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first paragraph and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Answer both sides of the question, but give more direct reasons for why you agree with one side.
task response
Use examples in a more exact way and explain how each one proves your point.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple clear words like first, also, however, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long, so break them into shorter parts to make the meaning easy to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the essay and keep close to the topic.
task response
You use strong examples like Van Gogh and Steve Jobs to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear overall flow from general idea to examples and final opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • measure
  • intelligence
  • success
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • emotional intelligence
  • creativity
  • practical skills
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • capabilities
  • potential
  • privilege
  • correlate
  • hard work
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