IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that fu rther increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world’s fuel resources To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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In the period of the
last
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 century, the prices of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 have significantly increased,
therefore
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, it is common to think that a
further
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rise
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 will influence the amount of
fuels
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 to be used in the future and
hence
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 decrease the density of arguments all over the world. From my point of view, the statement can turn into reality and will positively turn our
today
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's World State.
To begin
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 with, the
rise
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 in the price of
fuels
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 is the result of its lack and gradual decrease in amount all around the Earth. The demand for
such
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resources
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 increases the more the technologies that require plenty of
energy
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 are being created,
thus
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, certain huge suppliers use these opportunities to develop their economies.
Nevertheless
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,
due to
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 the disadvantages that the provided system brings, certain huge nations have already taken action towards a full turn on renewable
energy
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.
For instance
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,
today
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, Canada has become one of the most advanced countries in
this
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 sphere and increased its use of green
energy
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 to 67 per cent, reaching independence on other
energy
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resources
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.
Moreover
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, these results have brought them much more wages that they are able to direct them to another sector,
such
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 as human needs or government services.
In addition
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, those changes influence the state of the environment as well.
Today
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, a lot of countries are still dependent on
energy
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resources
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such
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 as oil, gas, and coal,
therefore
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, the pressure between them in relation to division only rises.
However
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, in the next 20 years, if the prices continue to
rise
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, those arguments will decrease, and
thus
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, the environmental state will be cleaner.
Today
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, studies show that if the usage of
fuels
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 falls by at least 40 per cent, humanity will be able to prevent consequences of global
warmings
Fix the agreement mistake
warming
show examples
,
such
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 as air pollution, animal
instinction
Correct your spelling
extinction
 or ozone layer breakdown, which are one of the most crucial issues
today
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. In summary, the
rise
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 of prices on coal, gas, and other
resources
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, despite og bringing numerous dilemmas
today
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, will contribute to a better future tomorrow, assisting in reaching a cleaner world for every individual.

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task achievement
Make sure the introduction clearly states your thesis and outlines the main points that you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your ideas and to connect your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed with adequate explanations and examples.
task achievement
Your essay presents a relevant thesis and addresses the topic clearly.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as Canada's renewable energy efforts, strengthens your arguments.
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