Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Important
positions
in the government
play a vital role in modern society
. While
many believe that youngsters are not eligible for these jobs, others argue that they are qualified enough to undertake the responsibility. This
essay will explore both perspectives and arrive at my own conclusion.
In the epoch-making era, young people have gradually become the main characters in this
world. However
, it is widely agreed that most of them lack experience in tackling critical issues in society
. When they engage in essential positions
in the government
, they would tend to be indecisive. For instance
, if there is an emergency event occurring, youths cannot react immediately, because they are afraid of making mistakes. As a consequence
, the whole decision process will be inefficient, so the authority should be led by the elder to avoid this
circumstance.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that plenty of benefits can be brought by youngsters if they work in crucial positions
in the government
. There are a range of merits that young people possess including ambition and creativity. Nowadays, society
has witnessed that countless youths show their talents in various start-up companies and contribute immense power to this
world. What is believed is that these features can be also
utilized in handling jobs in the government
. Furthermore
, being full of passion is also
the key to the workplace and this
is especially useful for the government
's work. Since serving the general public is the major mission of the job, young people employed in top positions
of authority must equip themselves with substantial enthusiasm to cope with their title.
In conclusion, it is evident that although
youths could lack experience, they still own the portraits that this
society
needs. From my perspective, it is essential for governments to strike a delicate balance between using their motivation to change the world and giving them the proper guide.Submitted by seanlin12345 on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, but make sure your essay has a more logically structured progression of ideas throughout the body. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop your main points further. While your essay touches on the key aspects of the topic, the supporting arguments could be strengthened with more specific examples and clearer connections between ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a response for both views as well as your own opinion. However, further development and expansion of ideas with relevant examples would enhance the depth and breadth of your essay.
task achievement
To improve clarity and comprehension, ensure each paragraph presents one main idea along with a clear explanation or example. Mixing several points in one paragraph can lead to confusion and weaken your argument.