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Band 4.5

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

#demand #food #measures #community
Throughout the world
nesessity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 for
food
 supplies become higher and higher.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I believe that overpopulation and
intention
Correct article usage
the intention
show examples
 to
living in
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 more prosperous life
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 individuals are the main reasons for
this
 case. To deal with
such
 as
problem
, international communities should take some measures
such
 as integrating new
technoligies
Correct your spelling
technologies
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture and creating
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of responsibility in the people. Today most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 have
difficultiy
Correct your spelling
difficulty
difficulties
to cope
Change the verb form
coping
show examples
 with
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 related to increasing of the
population
Correct word choice
increasing population
show examples
. As number of the residents
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 demand for
food
 supplies will increase proportionally. To
adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
 issue government and international
establishment
Fix the agreement mistake
establishments
show examples
 can boost agricultural productivity by integrating new technology and methods that
enhanses
Correct your spelling
enhances
enhance
 the amount of the crop.
For example
, nowadays in
Uzbekistan
Add a comma
Uzbekistan,
show examples
 farmers
strated
Correct your spelling
started
 using
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 irrigation system that
allowed
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
 them
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 the productivity of the land.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
 gave the farmers
subsidias
Correct your spelling
subsidies
 to
encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
irrigation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
. In the advanced world everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to live in better life and
this
 in turn
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to increased demand for extravagant eating habits. Current days people get
servet
Correct your spelling
served
 with
food
 that most of its
food
 will be wasted as it is more than one individual needs.
Such
 as
overcomsumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
over-consumption
also
 may cause
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
show examples
 of
food
 supplies. To cope with
this
problem
 authorities and
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
shlould
Correct your spelling
should
 make people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
become more responsible for
food
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 that they waste without reason.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 and
other establishment
Change the wording
another establishment
other establishments
show examples
 should influence
comsumers
Correct your spelling
consumers
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspectives
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 movies,
conferences
Correct word choice
and conferences
show examples
 that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 them aware of the
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 faces if they
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not change their behavior.
To conclude
,
problem
Add an article
the problem
show examples
 of the increasing population and lack of moral awareness can be
aesily adressed
Correct your spelling
easily addressed
 by modern technology and
athority
Correct your spelling
authority
.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve readability and precision. For example, phrases like 'To deal with such as problem' should be 'To deal with such problems.'
coherence
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the key points you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments.
task achievement
Offer more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and robust.
task achievement
You have identified overpopulation and extravagant lifestyles as causes for increasing food demand, which is a good start in addressing the task.
task achievement
The essay includes some valid measures that the international community can take, such as integrating new technologies and creating a sense of responsibility among individuals.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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