Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree.
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There is considerable debate about whether parents or
schools
should be responsible for ensuring their children
have regular physical exercise
. Despite some people believing that required sports
exercises as part of the curriculum is wasteful, I firmly disagree with this
statement.
It is admitted that learners gain many benefits if they are educated in comprehensive curricula with suitable physical exercises. Initially
, many essential skills
can be enhanced if learners can participate in physical exercises disregarding their family backgrounds. Sports
teach valuable life skills
such
as teamwork, leadership, and discipline that are difficult to instil in a purely academic setting. There are many essential characteristics to become a professional footballer, who need to have a strategic vision, healthy body and cooperating abilities among members. These skills
are supposed hardly to be achieved for children
in poor financial contexts,
because many parents lack time, resources, or knowledge to provide adequate physical Remove the comma
apply
exercise
for their children
. Hence
, schools
can offer structured and safe environments for physical exercise
, ensuring all children
benefit regardless of their home situation.
Additionally
, there are many physical and mental benefits of studying sports
lessons
in schools
. Physical education is part of a well-rounded education, contributing to the overall
development of learners. Having a healthier body makes them feel more energized to study academic lessons
, while
physical activity is proven to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, contributing to better mental health. For example
, sports
can be a healthy outlet for students to relieve academic pressure and improve concentration. Regarding the physical aspect, some sports
geniuses can identify their instinct in sports
careers as professional athletes, schools
in turn can facilitate a suitable environment for these children
to advance their prospective careers. For instance
, regular physical activity is crucial for preventing childhood obesity and other health issues.
To conclude
, despite some argue that ensuring regular physical exercise
for children
should be the sole responsibility of parents, it is clear that
incorporating sports
lessons
into the school curriculum offers significant benefits. Schools
provide a structured environment where children
can develop essential life skills
, improve their physical and mental health, and receive equal opportunities for physical activity regardless of their home circumstances. Therefore
, I firmly believe that schools
should include sports
lessons
as part of a comprehensive education curriculum to ensure the holistic development of children
.Submitted by lenam2k1 on
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overall
While the essay is strong, working on varying sentence structure and using more sophisticated vocabulary can further enhance the overall quality. This will also help in avoiding repetition and maintaining reader interest.
task achievement
Although the main points are well-supported, adding more specific examples or data could strengthen the argument. For instance, citing studies on the benefits of physical education could provide additional credibility.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between points to help the essay flow even more seamlessly. This can improve the coherence and cohesion, making the essay more enjoyable to read.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task prompt, presenting well-supported arguments for the inclusion of sports lessons in school curricula.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, setting the stage and summarizing the main points effectively. The writer's stance is clear and consistent throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. This enhances readability and makes the argument easy to follow.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.