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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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Parents who send their children to private
schools
 should not be obliged to pay
taxes
 that support the region's educational system. It may seem unfair, but in terms of reaching financial equality between disparate groups of people and enhancing all-around education in the country, it becomes reasonable why they should pay
taxes
. First of all, maltitude of children, studying in private
schools
 have wealthy parents;
conversely
, students ,studying with scholarships that are funded by the government, don't have similar finances.
Therefore
, if rich citizens would
also
 pay
taxes
, despite the fact that they bought scholarships, it would ameliorate the educational system as a whole, helping financially unstable families
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get better education.
For instance
, there is a huge disparity among
schools
 in Almaty. Private
schools
 are much better than public
schools
 from an academic standpoint.
Secondly
, private
schools
 themselves usually receive financial support; because, most countries encourage all
schools
, including non-public ones. Gathered funds from
taxes
 will be allocated amongst educational centres, despite their type. That's why, mandatory payments for families with children studying in private
schools
 would
also
 strengthen the academics of their
schools
.
Nevertheless
, it is true that
taxes
 for them should be less than for families who send their kids to public school; because private
schools
 are mostly considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
businesses and they
also
 pay additional payments to the government.
To conclude
, because of the financial support from the country and for equality in society, parents of students who study in private
schools
 should not be free from paying
taxes
, but with some indulgence.
Submitted by IELTS nis on

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coherence cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, try to refine the logical flow and transition between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph leads smoothly into the next, enhancing the overall readability of the essay.
task achievement
Enhance the Task Response by delving further into the argument. You could explore potential counterarguments in more depth and discuss them to show a balanced view.
task achievement
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and lexical resource to avoid small errors. It will help in presenting your ideas more clearly and professionally.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument well.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as the disparity among schools in Almaty, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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