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Writing Samples
Band 7

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

#numbers #students #study #trend #benefit #countries
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In the past few years, studying abroad has grown in popularity, particularly among young people from nations like China and India. Despite facing significant sacrifices, many
students
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 and families still find
this
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 a worthwhile investment. Specifically, families often spend their life savings and for pupils, it is friendship.
Moreover
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, various governments have prepared large amounts of money to support their youths' attendance at foreign colleges.
However
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, there are disadvantages to
this
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 tendency
in addition
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 to advantages. One of the most significant benefits for
students
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 when studying abroad is being exposed to diverse cultures and perspectives. Immersing themselves in a new environment will help them expand their worldview, partly break down the barriers of old thinking and create motivation to develop flexible thinking in problem-solving.
In addition
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, studying overseas is a lever to help learners get closer to the optimal education system. Reputable universities in typical countries
such
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 as the US, UK, France, Australia, etc. are fully capable of providing training programs that are close to reality and updated as soon as possible. So, upon their return, graduates of these schools can contribute their acquired knowledge and skills, promoting innovation and development in their countries.
However
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, the journey to conquer knowledge in an international environment is
also
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 extremely challenging. The initial demands of adapting to a new culture and language come as a shock to many individuals.
Furthermore
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, feeling homesick can
also
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 affect concentration, morale and academic performance.
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, the financial burden of studying abroad can be huge, with high tuition and living expenses hindering many families, and not everyone can afford it.
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, Brain drain is one important reason that needs to be taken into account.The loss of talent can occur as graduates may choose to stay in the host country, which can cause the problem of skilled labour shortages in the sending country. In conclusion, the trend of
students
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 choosing to study abroad is a double-edged sword.
While
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 it offers undeniable benefits for personal development, both
students
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 and countries need to be prepared for the associated challenges.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, mention specific programs or scholarships that support students to study abroad or specific challenges they face. This can help illustrate your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
Improve your coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follow a logical progression of ideas. Some transitions between points could be smoother to enhance readability.
task achievement
Provide a thorough balance between the advantages and disadvantages by expanding more on the positives or introducing additional drawbacks, depending on your preference.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly introducing the topic and its relevance.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly wraps up the essay, reaffirming the main points discussed while acknowledging both sides of the argument.
complete response
You address the topic comprehensively by discussing both benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad, which showcases a balanced approach.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured with a clear division of ideas into paragraphs. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, which aids in coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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