IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

#countries #laws #limit #hours #employees #development
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Limiting working hours will improve the
overall
 well-being of the family. A few countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. In
this
 essay, we are going to see why the
law
 was introduced and its positive development. A new
work
 time restriction
law
 was introduced because people started to
work
 overtime after their working time was completed with the
company
's
work
 burden so the government decided to introduce
this
 new
law
 in their country to restrict overloaded
work
 which would affect their health .
This
law
 helps people to spend more time with their families and
this
 helps them to reduce their stress.
This
law
 helps the employees to spend there with their families and they can go for a walk to reduce their stress and mental pressure and
also
 they can relax by doing their favourite activities. The
company
 can take freshers for the
work
 on a shift basis
this
 will improve the productivity of the
company
 and people will get employed by
this
law
 and there will be no overtime,
work
 burden and stress. The
company
 can improve their facilities for the workers to get rid of their tension from the
company
.
This
law
 helps every employer to get health benefits by doing exercise and eating proper food without any rush. The introduction of the new
law
 for limiting the working hours for employees will create a positive impact on the workers and
this
 will help the country's economy to develop the share price of the
company
 will increase in the share market and
also
 they definitely benefit from
this
law
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task quite well, but it could benefit from more specific examples to support your ideas. Try to include real-world examples or detailed scenarios where limited working hours have positively impacted employees.
coherence cohesion
While your points are clear, the coherence can be improved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly. For instance, 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition' can help introduce new points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more engaging. Try to start with a hook that grabs the reader's attention, and conclude by summarizing the main points more effectively and adding a final thought or recommendation.
task achievement
Your essay is well-structured, and you have a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the question: why the laws were introduced and whether they are a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow and you present your ideas in an organized manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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