IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The government of Vietnam should make English an official language. Do you agree or disagree?

Opinions are
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 on whether people in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 should speak and use
English
Use synonyms
 as an official
language
Use synonyms
 in the whole
country
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because of
expensive
Correct article usage
the expensive
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 cost and lack of national identity of that action. If
English
Use synonyms
 became the second
language
Use synonyms
 of
Correct article usage
the Vietnammese
show examples
Vietnammese
Correct your spelling
Vietnamese
, government would have to pay an enormous quantity of both finance and human resources to make
English
Use synonyms
 common in use.
English
Use synonyms
 being used in legal documents and education means all citizens should have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to speak and understand well, but not many places in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 have enough conditions and facilities to teach a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 well.
Therefore
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, a great amount of money will be poured into training educational human resources and improving teaching
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. That would be a
watse
Correct your spelling
waste
 in national economics to have a not
definitey
Correct your spelling
definitely
definite
 big change.
Moreover
Linking Words
, and more vital,
English
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 cannot represent
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Vietnamese
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, and it is not
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 first
language
Use synonyms
 that our ancestors used. A national
language
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 speaks
volume
Fix the agreement mistake
volumes
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 an ethnic group, and
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
 is for nations in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
. Our
language
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 is extremely beautiful, a great number of words cannot be translated exactly into
English
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, and vice versa. Using a national and specialized
language
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 outside the border of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
, we can still easily realize who is from the same homeland
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 us. Because of all
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 reasons,
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
 should be utilized as the only official
language
Use synonyms
 and speaking for
Vietnamese
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 nations. Some may argue that if
Vietnamese
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 people can speak
English
Use synonyms
 well, that may be an opportunity for our
country
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 to develop the
hospitablity
Correct your spelling
hospitality
 industry. But it is unnecessary
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that many
foreigner
Change to a plural noun
foreigners
show examples
 even cannot understand
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
, they still come to
Vietname
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the natural beauty of our
country
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 and the
hospitablity
Correct your spelling
hospitality
hospitability
 of people here. So we still can use only
Vietnamese
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 and grow the tourists
concidely
Correct your spelling
concisely
. In conclusion, my own opinion is that
English
Use synonyms
 should not be the second official
language
Use synonyms
 in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may cause a great waste in national economics, and
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 national identity
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our citizens.
Although
Linking Words
 it has some benefits in developing
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, it is not worth
to make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
this
Linking Words
 big change.

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coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring all points directly support your key arguments to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Elaborate further on your main points with specific and relevant examples to better support your arguments.
task achievement
Revise sentences for clarity and grammatical accuracy to convey your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents your stance, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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