It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world

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Some say that for the studying of offspring in school local

history

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is more crucial than

world

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history

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. Personally, I think that both are vital equally because of some major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in

this

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essay.

To begin

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it is clear that

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local

history

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is a vital subject for

children

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studying in their school because it not only can help them to explore their origin but

also

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provides lessons value from historical national

heroes

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. These stimulate pride and gratefulness in their countries.

Moreover

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, the national

heroes

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are ideal examples for youngsters to follow.

For example

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children

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in my country who study Vietnamese

history

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are proud of historical national

heroes

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Therefore

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, they always try to learn the good characteristics of those

heroes

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such

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as courage, honesty, and hard work.

On the other hand

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, it is thought that

world

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history

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also

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important for youngsters to learn in their schools because it can extend

children

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's knowledge and curiosity beyond their nation.

This

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can motivate them to make big-thinking which is a useful skill for their successful adulthood.

For example

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, when I was a child, I learned

world

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history

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although

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I just studied through the papers of historical books.

Consequently

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, it fostered my dream of studying overseas. In conclusion, in

this

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essay, I would like people to understand that local historical subject brings valuable lessons of national pride, gratefulness, courage, honesty, and hard work

while

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the subject of

world

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history

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encourages offspring to form habits of big thinking

as well as

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big dreams.

Finally

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, because of the shown reasons, I think that It is equally important for school

children

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to learn about local

history

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and

world

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history

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Submitted by writingeilts on Wed Jul 03 2024

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language

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid overused words to make your essay more engaging.

content

Make sure each paragraph is well-developed and includes sufficient supporting details to elaborate on your main points.

style

Work on using more varied sentence structures to improve the flow of your essay.

introduction

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and outlines what you will discuss in the essay.

cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear transitions between paragraphs, which helps in maintaining a logical flow.

support

You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, making your points more convincing.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Write about the following topic: “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today's digital age, the widespread use of social media has become an integral part of society. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon. To what extent do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? Provide relevant examples and support your arguments with evidence

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive and negative impact on society?

Nowsday, a growing number of people with health problems are trying to alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?