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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is thought by some that is better to live in a city while others believe it is better to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#city #countryside
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Both the
city
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 and the countryside have many drawbacks and advantages. Many
people
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 believe it is better to live in a
city
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while
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 others think it is better to live in a rural place. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both visions and give my opinion.
To begin
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 with, many
people
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 prefer to live in a
city
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 because it provides every need since they are often full of supermarkets, hospitals, parks and shops.
Furthermore
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, a
city
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 offers more job opportunities.
For example
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,
people
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 could find different kinds of jobs and
childen
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children
 could choose from a large number of schools.
In addition
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 to that,
cities
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 organize numerous events
such
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 as concerts, art exhibitions and social events.
Cities
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 are easier to live in
due to
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 public transportation which connects every neighborhood.
Furthermore
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, in big
cities
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, you can meet a lot of different
people
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 from all around the world.
On the other hand
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, the countryside is a much simpler and quieter place. There are often fewer shops, supermarkets, job opportunities and
people
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. Many of them become stressed and decide to move to the countryside. There, life is much more slow and nature can help them relieve stress.
For example
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,
people
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 can go for long walks
innature
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in nature
 or find different hobbies
such
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 as fishing and camping. In conclusion, I believe there is no better place: it depends on our needs and what we want to do with our lives. Many young
people
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 prefer the
cities
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 because they are provided with different opportunities and they want to focus on their job careers, others just want to live a quiet life and connect themselves with nature.
Submitted by chi63hi on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider expanding on your examples with more specific details. For instance, mention specific types of job opportunities or name some events that are typical in cities and the countryside.
coherence cohesion
You could improve coherence and cohesion by using more transition words and phrases to clearly guide the reader through your argument. For example, words like 'consequently,' 'moreover,' and 'nevertheless' can make your essay flow more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
You have introduced the topic well and provided a clear thesis statement that outlines both views and states your own opinion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively sums up the arguments presented and reiterates the main point of the essay.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured, with distinct paragraphs discussing city life, countryside, and your own opinion.
supported main points
The main points are generally well supported with relevant examples, which makes your arguments convincing.
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