In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing excercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Hiring a personal fitness
trainer
is a new trend recently, especially in the youth community
besides
playing
sports
or doing exercise classes. In my honest opinion, there are some positive and negative impacts of these choices. First and foremost, having a personal
trainer
could give you efficient
time
in the midst of your tight schedules.
For example
, when you do not have enough
time
to get into the lines to use the gym machines, you can arrange a private
time
with your personal
trainer
and they will provide all of your needs related to the preparation of the tools.
Furthermore
, being trained by the professional one is the best way to accelerate your progress, in order to achieve a certain goal in a short
time
. Unfortunately, you have to spend a lot of money to afford a personal
trainer
for yourself since the demand in society has increased.
On the other hand
, many
people
choose to play
sports
in a group or take classes
instead
of paying for a personal
trainer
.
Besides
the expensive price of hiring a personal
trainer
, many
people
prefer to play
together with
their friends. In my opinion, there are some benefits of playing
sports
in a community
such
as
getting
Verb problem
making
show examples
new friends. Joining many
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
clubs could widen your circles and
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
your social ability by interacting
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
many
people
outside your usual environment.
Furthermore
, playing
sports
with your friends would increase the amount of quality
time
in the group. In conclusion, there are so many options to keep a good habit like doing exercise. Both choices are good, it depends on
people
's preferences.
Submitted by rose on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses both parts of the task effectively. However, it could be greatly improved by providing more concrete examples to support your points. Including specific scenarios or data can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. At times, the writing seems a bit vague. Detailed explanations and more precise wording can help make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
Ensure that your points are fully developed. Some of the main points seem underdeveloped, which can weaken the overall argument. Elaborate on your ideas to provide a more thorough response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, it could benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs. Linking words and cohesive devices can help make the flow more natural.
coherence cohesion
Some paragraphs could be better organized. Ensure each paragraph has a single clear idea and maintains focus throughout. This will help improve the coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Supporting your main points with more detailed examples or evidence will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay. This will provide a stronger foundation for your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task requirements by discussing both the reasons for hiring personal fitness trainers and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Clearly presents an introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and appropriate to the topic, contributing to a comprehensive response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized workout plans
  • Fitness goals
  • Accountability
  • Motivation and support
  • Flexibility
  • Individual needs
  • Social media influence
  • Tailored fitness
  • Cost-effective
  • Community engagement
  • Long-term health outcomes
  • Social interaction
  • Isolation
  • Scheduling
  • Efficient and effective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: