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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others that argue it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
it
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It
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 is widely assumed that
computers
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 have brought a positive trend in education.
However
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, there are still some people who argue about its negative consequences. In my opinion, I completely agree that the advantages of
computers
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 far outweigh their drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons supporting my viewpoint. First and foremost,
computers
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 are considered an essential tool in classrooms as they serve as the main source of information. Teachers can use
computers
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 or phones to search online for resources, theories, and knowledge to enhance their lessons. At home, students can practice their writing or speaking skills with the help of AI tools.
Moreover
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,
computers
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 can
also
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 be used to check plagiarism in students’ essays and prevent cheating during examinations.
For instance
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, researchers have proven that integrating technology into exam rooms can detect up to 89%–95% of cheating, which makes assessing students’ performance fairer and more accurate.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages. Using electronic devices can distract students from their studies.
This
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 is because they may spend too much time checking notifications or listening to music, which leads to multitasking and lower productivity.
In addition
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, when students rely heavily on devices in classrooms, they may no longer communicate effectively with each other. Eventually,
this
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 could result in social isolation and even serious technological breakdowns, which may affect their learning experience. In conclusion,
although
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computers
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 have certain drawbacks, I believe their benefits in education far outweigh the negatives. With strict monitoring and proper guidance, most of these disadvantages can be
minimized
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minimised
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.

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Task Response
Your introduction is clear, but try to make it more engaging. You could add a sentence that outlines the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the transitions between ideas. For example, use phrases like 'In addition' or 'Moreover' to connect your points better.
Task Response
Add more specific examples or data to support your claims, especially in the second paragraph. This would help strengthen your argument.
Task Response
Your essay has a clear opinion, and you have explained your points well.
Task Response
The use of examples, like the statistics about cheating, shows good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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