Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Statistics have shown that the proportion of educated people who want to
immigrate
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is increasing rapidly.
Therefore
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, some citizens believe that
professionals
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should work in the
country
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where they studied
while
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others assume that they should be able to start their job wherever they desire.
On the other hand
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, I fit in the first category because many nations are out of
professionals
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, like doctors and engineers. So, my own perspective and these two viewpoints will be discussed in
this
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essay. Nowadays, the bourgeois, especially educated ones, prefer to live and work in more developed
countries
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.
Hence
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, most of them
immigrate
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immediately after they finish their study
while
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it will be a great help if they decide to stay in the
country
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where they did training.
For example
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,
a
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apply
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research published by Sorbon University in 2020 that unfortunately 56 per cent of upper-graduate individuals in France tend to
immigrate
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to the US as soon as they ended education.
As a result
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, there might be serious problems of lacking
professionals
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in
such
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countries
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.
According to
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research, many people pass away, especially in developing
countries
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,
due to
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the lack of facilities.
Moreover
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, I presume that experts are required in the
country
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where the government pays for their education.
For instance
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, The University Of Vietnam displayed research in 2021 that 68 per cent of
professionals
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immigrate
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from West Asia to seek better lives
while
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their own society needs them.
To conclude
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,
although
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experts have the right to choose the place where they live, I believe that they should work in the
country
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where they were educated to help the public. In conclusion, some folks believe that educated individuals should be allowed to start their career wherever they want
while
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others think that they should continue living in the
country
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where they studied.
Additionally
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, a majority of developing
countries
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suffer from a lack of experts.
Therefore
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, I think they should begin their business or continue their job in the original
country
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so they can help the poor bourgeois.

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task response
Your introduction clearly presents the topic but could better outline the specific points that will be discussed in your essay. Clarifying your position a bit more in the introduction would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit unclear and could be simplified for better understanding. Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and flow. For example, 'the bourgeois, especially educated ones' might be clearer as 'The educated middle class.'
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide clearer transitions between your ideas and paragraphs. This will help improve the overall flow of the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task response
You provide relevant data and examples that support your arguments, which strengthens your position in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion, which is essential for a strong ending.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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