IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Huyền

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Education
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important factors to improve one government and going to
university
Use synonyms
 is the right of every citizen.
However
Linking Words
, some people have difficulty doing
this
Linking Words
 because of their poor circumstances. It is thought that the
governments
Use synonyms
 are responsible for studying fees of students in the
university
Use synonyms
 to support all of the residents that can access
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
. In my perspective, I absolutely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and the following paragraph are some typical reasons for it. First and foremost, a quality
education
Use synonyms
 background is a basic need of every population. When individuals graduate
Change preposition
with the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
, they can have high-paid jobs.
This
Linking Words
 can lessen the percentage of unemployment in their country and increase the educated workforce.
However
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, some people can not go to higher learning places because of their poor financial problems. So that they are not able to get a successful career.
Governments
Use synonyms
 should have an obligation to support these cases.
Hence
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, most citizens can succeed in life and develop their national economy.
For example
Linking Words
, some Western countries,
such
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 as Germany, Italy and Dubai provide full scholarships to
university
Use synonyms
 students, through that, the earning proportion of the population in these nations is higher than others.
Additionally
Linking Words
, when
governments
Use synonyms
 abolish tuition fees for all person, they can get
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher knowledge and pursue their dream. Many children can not have an outstanding future because of the lack of knowledge. They always have to try very hard but their socio-economic backgrounds are a barrier that prevents them from higher
education
Use synonyms
 places.
For instance
Linking Words
, many children from remote regions are not going to school, especially
university
Use synonyms
, because of poverty and lack of facilities and professionals which make them give up studying. In conclusion, every citizen is entitled to
university
Use synonyms
 and people
also
Linking Words
 have the right to land high-paid careers to succeed in their lives. The
governments
Use synonyms
 should improve policies and support residents,
then
Linking Words
 the national economy can be developed day by day.

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, but consider rephrasing the first sentence to make it more engaging. For example, you could say, 'Education plays a crucial role in the progress of any nation, and access to university education should be a fundamental right for every citizen.'
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs. However, some sentences are a bit repetitive. Try to use synonyms or rephrase to maintain interest. For instance, instead of repeatedly mentioning 'higher education,' you can say 'tertiary education' or 'university studies.'
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples, but some of your sentences could be more concise. For example, instead of 'When individuals graduate the university education, they can have high-paid jobs,' you could say, 'Graduating from university often leads to high-paying jobs.'
complete response
You have addressed the task well, providing a thorough response with strong arguments for making university education free for all.
relevant specific examples
You have included specific and relevant examples, such as Germany and Dubai, which effectively support your points.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments from introduction to conclusion.
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