Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

some believe that the government should spend money on

education

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others argue that recreation centres are of equal importance. I completely agree that

education

Use synonyms

is more important for the future of

society

Use synonyms

, and

this

Linking Words

essay will provide examples to reinforce

this

Linking Words

viewpoint. Generally,

society

Use synonyms

is built on the hard work of well-educated personnel, who are responsible for broadening their horizons.

such

Linking Words

educated people are what makes a well-structured

society

Use synonyms

, as everyone in

society

Use synonyms

has the right to

education

Use synonyms

, and should be provided with a better

education

Use synonyms

because children are what make the future of

this

Linking Words

nation, government schools provide free educational access to poor students who cannot afford to pay high tuition fees.

For example

Linking Words

, Madam President of India belonged to a labourer household, she worked in a mica mine

while

Linking Words

receiving free

education

Use synonyms

in school. She is now ruling as the first lady president of India. Granted, every country needs recreational centres

such

Linking Words

as cinemas, sports facilities, and amusement parks to generate revenue. It is not mandatory to spend taxpayers' salaries on

such

Linking Words

facilities.

For instance

Linking Words

, recently Singapore International Airport has made an expansion, with the new addition being a waterfall, which requires a vast amount of funds, which could have been utilized for

society

Use synonyms

by providing better food and shelter for poor people.

To conclude

Linking Words

, recreational centres are a necessity, yet

Education

Use synonyms

is of paramount importance, I believe striking a perfect balance and focusing the funds in the right place matters.

Submitted by brahmani.yl on Wed Jul 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the flow between ideas and sentences by using a greater variety of linking words and phrases. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining the introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. You can do this by clearly stating your position and summarizing the main points effectively.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is backed up with strong, specific examples. While the examples you provided are relevant, adding more detailed, specific examples can further strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Make sure each paragraph deals with one central idea that is clearly linked to the main argument. This will help in making your ideas clear and comprehensive.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear answer to the task and covers all parts of the question adequately. This shows a good understanding of the task.

coherence cohesion

The essay is organized in a logical manner with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

You have used appropriate examples to support your main points, which adds relevance and depth to your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

244 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental
workforce
fosters
innovation
inequality
circumstances
outcomes
hygiene
private sector
initiatives
engaged
stability
cohesion
national pride
economic development
societal progress

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It’s certainly undeniable that greater parts of things we should know solely can be acquired through our own experiences. In pursuit of a fulfilled life, both our professional and personal lives require a great deal of aspiration to personal knowledge. However, there are some exceptions to learning through personal involvement that we should avoid. This essay will discuss both sides.
5.5
band
Tourism is one of thw fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is widely believed that the most considerable growing industry is tourism making a contribution to the global economy while some individuals argue that it is adversely impacting on culture and environment of the local areas which are often ignored. Although people concerned about about the raised issues, I still hold the view that developing tourism brings more benefits towards economic growth, mostly solving the aforementioned problems through this development.
7
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary world, a lot of food and drink consists of a high dose of sugar in the manufacturing process, which can result in many health ailments. Hence, many individuals propose that sugary products should be made more expensive, resulting in the encouragement of people to consume less sugar. In my opinion, it would be a good decision to make and this essay will present why this option is the best.
6.5
band
Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?
In today's world, there is a heavy debate about all human beings are born equal and hence every male and female are capable of doing the same work, while others disagree with this statement saying there are some areas in which female genders cannot work. This is because of the strength difference in the body and the nature of the job they work in.
4
band
Some people think that you can only learn about the cultures of different places by traveling there. Other people think that you can learn just as much about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
There are some prespective that cultures of different places are learnt by travelling ,other's say that it can be learnt through reading books ,watching travel documents and some through internet .Let us discuss both the prespective brifely .

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Tourism is one of thw fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Some people think that you can only learn about the cultures of different places by traveling there. Other people think that you can learn just as much about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.