“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people contend that imprisonment is the best and only way to effectively punish and separate
criminals
from the population.
However
, I disagree with
this
argument and will explain why in
this
essay. Some law violations are extremely serious, namely murder, genocide, and rape. These types of
crimes
require a harsh sentence, and imprisonment may be the only choice to inhibit dangerous
criminals
.
However
, not all
crimes
are equally severe, so punishments should be granted
according to
the severity of the act. In emerging countries
such
as Brazil,
for example
, some individuals commit thefts,
such
as stealing food or mobile phones, out of desperation to eat and pay their bills. They need better opportunities in education and employment rather than imprisonment.
Furthermore
, going to jail may be detrimental as they can end up becoming associated with criminal gangs.
While
offenders need to pay for their wrong choices, they
also
deserve a second chance to be reintroduced into society. It is
also
relevant to highlight that maintaining a prisoner in jail is highly expensive.
Thus
, I believe that only grave
criminals
should be confined. In my opinion, other offenders should go to rehabilitation
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
where they can learn, work, and contribute to the community
while
paying for their
crimes
.
This
could be a more cost-effective program for governments. In Australia,
for instance
, people who commit minor
crimes
receive psychological support and professional training
while
in custody.
This
way, they can be reintroduced to society under bail conditions and work for the system rather than only spending government funds. In conclusion,
although
some
criminals
commit severe
crimes
and there is no other choice apart from keeping them under custody, I believe that prisons are not always the best way to punish offenders.
This
is because these establishments are expensive to maintain, and not every crime act is severe.
Therefore
, people deserve different types of penalties and a chance for rehabilitation, where they can contribute to the community.
Submitted by betinhaa00 on

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task achievement
While your essay provides a clear and well-developed argument against the idea that prison is the only effective form of punishment, consider addressing opposing viewpoints more thoroughly to enrich your argument. Introducing and refuting counterarguments can strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, and the main points are well supported. However, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to enhance clarity. For example, separating the discussion about the cost of imprisonment into its own paragraph could provide clearer emphasis.
introduction conclusion present
The essay opens with a clear introduction that outlines the writer's perspective, and it concludes with a well-summarized opinion. This helps to frame the arguments effectively.
logical structure
There is a logical flow of ideas, and the arguments are consistently developed throughout the essay. Each point is supported by relevant examples, which strengthens the credibility of the arguments.
supported main points
The essay provides comprehensive ideas and utilizes relevant examples, such as the situation in Brazil and Australia, to illustrate points effectively. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and the ability to apply real-world examples in support of the argument.

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