It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is advised that taking
risks
is an important factor to be involved in many aspects of life. The advantages of
risk
-taking are less predominant compared to its disadvantages. In some cases, taking a
risk
means welcoming a new opportunity or challenge, which can
also
be a great chance for an individual to bring themselves out of their comfort zone and better understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their potential or limit.
For instance
, job-jumping, to some extent, triggers fear of changing workplaces and building connections with new coworkers.
However
, it can possibly bring job-seekers to a better-paid company or one with a more friendly work culture.
In addition
, a new job can come
along with
new tasks which help people gain new skills or knowledge.
On the other hand
,
risks
are often accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
unanticipated consequences, which
risk
-takers may completely be unaware of at the beginning. In those cases, the negative effects of the
risks
are not thoroughly considered. Sometimes, these
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
can have impacts on not only the
risk
-takers themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
on their close people.
For example
, if a breadwinner of a family suffers failure from a
risk
,
then
their children and spouse can more or less be affected. In conclusion, there are both good opportunities and consequences related to
risks
. I personally believe consequences usually have a greater impact than opportunities.
Thus
, it is essential that every
risk
should be taken under serious and careful consideration. That way,
risk takers
Add a hyphen
risk-takers
show examples
can anticipate as many possibilities as possible and be
parepred
Correct your spelling
prepared
for any unexpected events upcoming.
Submitted by vungoc2910 on

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task achievement
Clarify and further develop the advantages and disadvantages of risk-taking in your essay to make the arguments more balanced.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the concluding sentence is stronger and provides a more definitive summary.
task achievement
Consider refining some of the vocabulary and phrases to enhance precision and clarity.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The ideas were mostly clear and relevant to the essay topic.
coherence cohesion
You used suitable transitions between paragraphs, which contributed to the flow of the essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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