In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that Consuming cigarettes should be banned by governments in public areas despite the effects it has on other individuals' freedom. I strongly agree with
this
statement because smoking can damage people
's health. Also
, it may influence other people
to try it, if it is used publicly.
Smoking is not only harmful to people
who are consuming it, but it is also
harmful to people
who are sitting near them. It can lead to chronic diseases such
as cancer and diabetes. Also
, the smoke which comes from cigarettes can affect the lungs of people
who sit near the smoker. Therefore
, it should be prohibited to smoke in public places. For instance
, in the USA many people
who have chronic disease in their lungs are passive smokers, but the disease comes from their exposure to smoke from the active ones.
Another reason why smoking in public spaces should be restricted is that it may persuade others to consume it. Sometimes when people
see other people
smoking, they start to ask themselves that everyone is smoking and why not me? This
can cause them to try it and soon become addicted to it. For example
, a large number of people
in the USA claimed that they had started smoking with their friends in cafes.
In conclusion, smoking in front of other people
is a dangerous thing for it causes chronic health conditions and it may double the number of individuals who consume it, so the government should put regulations against those who are addicted to it.Submitted by sam on
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task achievement
The introduction sets the context but could be clearer. For instance, more elaboration on the 'effects on other individual's freedom' would be helpful.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and is well-developed with supporting details. This will help improve the logical flow and structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear position throughout and effectively supports it with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is strong, summarizing the key points and reiterating the position taken in the essay.
task achievement
The examples provided are specific and relevant, strengthening the arguments made.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite