IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your local TV station is organizing the burial of a ‘time capsule’. Suggestions are being welcomed as to what artefacts should be buried with the capsule to enable future generations to understand more about today’s society. Write an email to the TV station. In your email, suggest at least 3 artefacts, say why they are relevant, and explain why they are also practical suggestions.

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
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 letter to provide my valuable suggestions in relation to the burial of a ‘time capsule’
that is
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 going to be organized by your famous television station. I really appreciate your idea of burying some useful
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
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 of the current generation for posterity. There are unlimited items which are distinct from the market and must be preserved for future generations. The most prominent one is a radio that could be buried so that
coming
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apply
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people can get knowledge about how the news was transmitted to the public in the past period. Another primary object, a floppy disk that was used for storing data and listening to music in the past could be a good example for restoring it for posterity.
Furthermore
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, the first-ever cell phone that was utilized for communication purposes for the first time is totally gone from the market,
this
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artifact
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artefact
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 could be preserved for them.
This
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 can help them to know how their ancestors have developed from mini phones to
such
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 high-technology smart devices.
I
Correct your spelling
In
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 my opinion, these were the basic used goods that played
vital
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a vital
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 role in individuals' life in past days.
Therefore
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, if these are placed in a ‘time capsule’ it can grasp the interest of future generations and will probably search for them to enhance their knowledge of how their older humans entertained, communicated and stored their data. I hope you will find my suggestions useful. Yours sincerely, Navneet Kaur.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single, clear idea to improve readability and coherence.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each artifact to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Double-check for minor grammar and punctuation errors to improve clarity.
task achievement
The letter has a formal tone appropriate for the context and audience.
greeting and closing
The closing of the letter is polite and appropriately formatted.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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