IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #right #access #university #education #governments #students #matter #background
Not only family, but
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
also
 is an extremely important place to form human personality and qualities. In my opinion, I strongly agree that governments should create opportunities for tuition for all
students
 to approach higher education regardless of their social class.
Firstly
,
students
 accessing
university
 education have complete knowledge and the ability to find occupations more easily.
Therefore
, the proportion of unemployees is decreasing, the country has many talented people and has a positive view towards diplomatic countries.
This
 leads to the economic development of the country. To be specific, there are plenty of universities from powerful countries
such
 as America , England and China that provide a various type of partial and full scholarships for all
students
 who are from developing countries to experience high-class education and extend international relations.
Secondly
, losing the right to study or an incomplete
university
 will limit the development of human vision. There is a huge amount of people does not have the ability to access or have to drop out of
university
 midway just because of their difficult circumstances.
For
this
 reason, individuals with less knowledge will lose important positions in society. In one aspect of life, people giving up study have to deal with judgment and social class discrimination.
For example
, it is not uncommon for companies to require employees to have a
university
 qualification and have some considerable experience. Those staff are not given priority to undertake important jobs, and even lose respect in the working environment. In conclusion, in my view, each person needs to receive their own equality in social life. To achieve
this
 purpose, governments should provide financial support for all
students
 to develop the country's economy
in particular
 and citizens's lives in general.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

support development
Try to elaborate on your main points with more specific examples. For instance, delve deeper into how scholarships from countries like America, England, and China directly impact students from developing countries.
language accuracy
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Not only family, but university also is an extremely important place' can be more smoothly phrased as 'Both family and university play crucial roles.'
structure
The essay has a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.
coherence
The main points are logically developed and there is a coherent flow from one idea to the next.
task response
Your argumentation is clear and provides a solid response to the task question. Your opinion is well-supported throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Accessibility
  • Social mobility
  • Meritocracy
  • Economic growth
  • Equality
  • Subsidize
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Human capital
  • Incentivize
  • Underfunded
  • Tuition fees
  • Academic achievement
  • Workforce
  • Tax burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays: