IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, as a part of education process, students work at a company for a short period of time without pay. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days,
students
Use synonyms
 have to spend a period of their education time on internships for companies without income.
While
Linking Words
 working for corporations has some drawbacks for learners, I still believe that they cannot overshadow the benefits. On the one hand, the working chance for people when they study at universities has various demerits that affect their situations and financial status. The fact
that is
Linking Words
 really important is that a group of
students
Use synonyms
 study and work with each other;
as a result
Linking Words
, when they should work for businesses in the short run, they may lose their jobs and the money that they earn from their occupation In fact, they have to spend a lot of time finding new job opportunities
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 time.
In addition
Linking Words
, if they have to go to other cities for apprenticeship, they need to spend a great deal of money on their accommodations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the pros of internships for
students
Use synonyms
 are so varied.
Firstly
Linking Words
, working for firms in the short run
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 provides opportunities for learner to enhance their knowledge about how machines, processes, and so on;
moreover
Linking Words
, practical skills can complete their academic knowledge.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is a good chance for learners who work really well
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that they will obtain an occupation offer from an organization in which they have an apprenticeship in the future. To summarize, internships have some negative effects on
students
Use synonyms
' jobs and the budgets of some educators;
whereas
Linking Words
, they create situations for them to become skilled workers and find some job opportunities for their future. In conclusion, the drawbacks cannot eclipse the merits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain and support each of your main points with relevant examples. For instance, when discussing the disadvantages of internships, you could provide specific examples of how students have struggled financially due to this practice.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas. Consider using more varied linking words or phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Clarify your position early in the introduction. You mention drawbacks and benefits, but a clearer statement of which outweighs which could improve your overall argument.
task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic effectively and outlines both advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing different aspects of the topic, which aids readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-world experience
  • soft skills
  • networking opportunities
  • workplace culture
  • career exploration
  • professional relationships
  • academic knowledge
  • theoretical application
  • job market
  • head start
  • industry connections
  • unpaid internship
  • employability
  • practical experience
  • individual development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: