Media coverage of violent crime frightens people and encourages criminals. Therefore, some people believe this type of news should not be reported in newspapers or shown on TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
f there are
condition
when some Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
people
make
criminality to Verb problem
commit
the
other Correct article usage
apply
people
, but the mass media should not report in
their news. There are two Correct pronoun usage
it in
point
of view from Change to a plural noun
points
this
statement, some people
agree thinks no problem because they think it normal
, meanwhile Add a missing verb
is normal
the
others think it Correct article usage
apply
obey
the human Change the verb form
obeys
right
rules.
On the one hand, some Fix the agreement mistake
rights
people
agree with the statement because this kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
people
have higher
power than Correct word choice
more
the
others. So, they use Correct article usage
apply
this
chance unwisely. When a group of people
make mistake
Correct article usage
the mistake
to hurt
anybody Change preposition
of hurting
such
as killing experiment, sexual
harassment. The victims Correct word choice
or sexual
report
to the police and the journalist to investigate Wrong verb form
reported
this
case
, but the suspect already bribe
Wrong verb form
bribed
to
them so the Change preposition
apply
case
will
Verb problem
was
stop
directly. It Wrong verb form
stopped
drawbacks
Add a missing verb
has drawbacks
to
the victims and Change preposition
for
the
Change the word
their
family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
For example
: the
Change preposition
in the
case
that happened to young
woman who Add an article
a young
the young
get
Verb problem
was
bullying
by some Replace the word
bullied
tenagers
, Correct your spelling
teenagers
this
cause never continue
but all Wrong verb form
continued
people
blame
the girl.
Wrong verb form
blamed
On the other hand
, the government, especially the ministry
of Capitalize word
Ministry
information
should take responsibility Capitalize word
Information
of
Change preposition
for
this
security and safety issues so it will make Correct determiner usage
these
good
Add an article
a good
circumstance
. One of our policies states that nations will protect the human rights of all citizens and will punish bad Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
people
who make criminals. Mass media is one way to take part in this
case
to spread the truth. Journalists have big power to demolish and report the case
to the public. For instance
, Indonesia, have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
severals
mysterious Correct your spelling
several
murdered
Replace the word
murders
case
who never find
the Wrong verb form
found
right
suspect, but with good collaboration within
honest Change preposition
with
journalist
, Fix the agreement mistake
journalists
police
, Correct word choice
and police
justice
the truth will appear and the Correct word choice
and justice
people
will trust to
the government.
To Change preposition
apply
concluded
, I support that the mass media should show the suitable and Change the form of the verb
conclude
right
information to all people
. I firmly do not agree with this
statement because every person have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
their
Change the word
the
right
to live in this
world and the government should protect their citizens to get their convenience.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Your essay should provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas. While you touched on the negative impact of media not reporting crimes and the government's role in ensuring safety, these points need to be more developed.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are well-supported with relevant and specific examples. Although you mentioned some examples, they need to be clearer and more detailed to effectively support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's logical structure needs improvement. Make sure that each paragraph clearly conveys one main idea and is logically connected to the next. This will make your overall argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which are positive aspects of your coherence and cohesion. The presence of these elements helps in structuring your essay effectively.
task achievement
You did attempt to respond to the task completely by addressing both viewpoints. This shows that you understand the requirement of providing a balanced argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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