Some believe that technology has made our life easy, while others think that it leads to negative effects. Please, discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays,
technology
became
a basic necessity. Wrong verb form
has become
People
can't work something nothing
using Rewrite the sentence
can't work something anything
can work something nothing
technology
. Moreover
, technology
also
give
negative effects. Verb problem
has
This
essay, I will discuss both views about Change preposition
In this
effect
Add an article
the effect
for
Change preposition
of
technology
. On the one hand, the sopphisticated
advance of Correct your spelling
sophisticated
technology
can give more valuable benefits for all users. There are some products of technology
like internet
, mobile Correct article usage
the internet
handphone
and Fix the agreement mistake
handphones
laptop
. First is Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
business
Correct article usage
the business
sectors
. Fix the agreement mistake
sector
Technology
help
some Change the verb form
helps
people
to finish working effectively like to communicate
, Change the verb form
communicating
record
, audit and It can integrated with all Wrong verb form
recording
people
around in
the world nothing meeting directly. Change preposition
apply
Secondly
is education
Correct article usage
the education
sectors
, It is as media teach and learn so both Fix the agreement mistake
sector
of
teachers and students can access more knowledge via Change preposition
apply
technology
. Next in society
sectors, It can Replace the word
social
use
to Wrong verb form
be used
gathering
, Replace the word
gather
meeting
and discussion between netizens. Replace the word
meet
For example
, the leader of village
can share more information via mobile handphone. Add an article
the village
a village
Lastly
, technology
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
development
Correct article usage
the development
a
country. Change preposition
of a
For instance
, the government offer services in offices, public transportations
, public facilities and others. Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
Because the
progress of a country can be seen Correct word choice
The
from
how every Change preposition
in
regions
can access Change to a singular noun
region
technology
easily. On the other hand
, the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
also
give
dangerous effects Verb problem
has
especially
for Add the comma(s)
, especially
young
generation. BecauseCorrect article usage
the young
,
everyone can use Remove the comma
apply
technology
whenever and wherever their
want. Correct pronoun usage
they
First
negative cause is Add an article
The first
educational
. Most Replace the word
education
of
Change preposition
apply
the
teenagers start Correct article usage
apply
change
Fix the infinitive
to change
in
adults when they have met with a new Change preposition
into
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
especially
in school. Add the comma(s)
, especially
For example
, usually
students have a community in school and Add a comma
usually,
frequent
Change the word
frequently
doing
negative Wrong verb form
do
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
so
Correct word choice
that
disturbing
other Wrong verb form
disturb
peoples
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
Secondly
, every student has a
media social like Correct article usage
apply
instagram
, Change the capitalization
Instagram
facebook
and tiktok even illegal Capitalize word
Facebook
website
. It's not uncommonFix the agreement mistake
websites
,
Change preposition
for, young
young
generation Correct article usage
the young
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
technology
dont
related Verb problem
apply
with
their age. Change preposition
to
For instance
, children access pornography contents
. My perspective, Fix the agreement mistake
content
technology
can be positive and can be
negative results Verb problem
have
depends
on the Wrong verb form
depending
people
. So, the government have to block every negative website and collaborate with NGO
, Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
institution
, Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
Correct word choice
and community
community
to educate about Fix the agreement mistake
communities
technology
.Submitted by writingbersama on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both views on the impact of technology. However, your response could be more comprehensive with clearer transitions between ideas and more detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases in your writing, such as 'technology became a basic necessity,' which should be 'technology has become a basic necessity.' Paying more attention to grammar and sentence structure will enhance clarity.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas with more specific examples and elaborations. For instance, you briefly mention that technology aids in education and business, but providing concrete examples will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure can be improved by having a clearer introduction and conclusion. Make sure to clearly state your opinion and summarize the main points in the conclusion to improve coherence.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints on the topic well and provided a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You have identified several sectors affected by technology such as business, education, and society, showing a broad understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, like the role of technology in government services, which help illustrate your points.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion