The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular buildings has changed over time.
The pictures compare the details of the
ground
floor
of a building that changed between 1958 until
now.
Looking from an Correct word choice
and
overall
perspective, it is readily apparent that this
area served as both commercial
and residential place over time. There were many rooms on the Correct article usage
a commercial
ground
floor
in the past, however
, currently, there is more free space on that floor
.
Between 1958 and 1984, the ground
floor
was used as an office, and between 1985 and 2000, it served as an apartment. Thus
, the assistant’s and the secretary’s offices were flattened and instead
, the meeting room
became wider and replaced by a living room
. Also
, the toilet space became bigger, and a bathroom was added there. Additional to this
, two bedrooms have been added in the eastern part of the room
.
In the present day, the layout has changed significantly. Firstly
, the ground
floor
has become a flower shop. Secondly
, the bathroom and shower replaced by a play area and living
Add an article
the living
room
has shrunk and replaced
by a place for buying gift cards. Add a missing verb
been replaced
While
the utilization of the first bedroom changed to office
, Correct article usage
an office
second
bedroom Change the article
the second
removed
completely. The only Add a missing verb
was removed
room
that remind
unaltered was Verb problem
remained
kitchen
.Add an article
the kitchen
a kitchen
Submitted by amir1375.6 on
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coherence cohesion
You provided a clear and logical structure in your essay, breaking down the timeline and changes in a coherent manner. However, it would be useful to add a concluding sentence or summary at the end to wrap up your points neatly.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, use more transitional phrases to better link your ideas. For example, 'Additionally,' could be used instead of 'Additional to this,' and 'Moreover,' could help introduce new points smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that your main ideas are fully supported with relevant details. For instance, you could elaborate more on how the free space on the ground floor affects the functionality of the building today compared to the past.
task achievement
Some minor grammatical corrections and improvements in phrasing would be beneficial. For example, 'served as both commercial and residential place' could be improved to 'served both commercial and residential purposes.'
task achievement
Your essay does a great job at detailing the changes over different time periods, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay provides specific changes to different rooms and their purposes over time, which makes it informative and precise.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow from past to present improvements adheres to a well-structured format, making it easy to follow your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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