Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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In the contemporary world, the controversy surrounding improving public

health

has been a prominent topic.

While

some people believe that increasing the number of

sports

facilities

such

as gyms, can significantly enhance public

health

, others argue that

this

phenomenon is a multifaceted challenge and a comprehensive approach is required. From my perspective,

while

increasing the number of

sports

facilities

is a positive step, it should be part of a broader strategy to improve public

health

. On the one hand, it is undeniable that more

sports

facilities

encourage physical activity, which contributes to preventing diseases

such

as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular issues.

For instance

, accessible and well-maintained parks, gyms, and

sports

centres can motivate individuals to engage in regular

exercise

, thereby improving physical fitness.

Besides

, by sticking to a daily group

exercise

, one can foster community spirit and social interactions, which are

also

beneficial for mental

health

and well-being.

On the other hand

, there is an opposing viewpoint which suggests merely increasing the number of

sports

facilities

may have a limited impact on public

health

. To be more precise,

while

sports

facilities

are important, they do not address other crucial factors influencing

health

such

as diet, healthcare access, and education.

For example

, poor dietary habits and inadequate healthcare services,

as well as

a lack of awareness about the importance of regular

exercise

, can negate the benefits of physical activities.

Therefore

, a more holistic approach is necessary, one that includes public

health

campaigns, improved healthcare services, and policies that promote healthy eating habits and encourage

exercise

. In conclusion, the debate on improving public

health

through

sports

facilities

highlights the need for a balanced and comprehensive strategy.

While

sports

facilities

play a crucial role in promoting physical activity, they should be integrated into broader public

health

initiatives.

This

holistic approach is more likely to yield significant and sustainable improvements in public

health

Submitted by Nastaran_zandy on Fri Jul 05 2024

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task achievement

To achieve higher clarity and impact in the introduction, consider clearly stating the two opposing views before presenting your opinion. Although your viewpoint is clear, a more assertive stance could enhance the strength of your argument.

task achievement

Including more specific examples and statistical data would further substantiate your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.

coherence cohesion

Smoothly transition between paragraphs for better flow. For instance, using transitional phrases can guide the reader more effectively from one argument to the next.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences that directly relate to it. While your essay is coherent, tightening the link between ideas can enhance overall readability.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

You have well-supported main points with relevant arguments, making your essay persuasive and engaging.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a balanced view, fulfilling the task requirements well.

task achievement

The use of examples, such as gyms and parks, provides practical context to your argument about sports facilities.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, obesity is increasing, especially among children. One solution is to increase the tax on food and drinks which contain large amounts of sugar. How effective is this solution? What other measures would be effective?