IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governemts should spend more on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the contemporary world, transportation plays a crucial role in people's lives.
Although
Linking Words
 some believe that road infrastructure demands comprehensive attention, others argue that governments should invest more funds in the
railway
Use synonyms
 sector.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, I subscribe to the latter view, owing to the affordability and potentiality of the
railway
Use synonyms
 system. First and foremost,
trains
Use synonyms
 have been an affordable means of transport for decades. To elaborate on
this
Linking Words
, since
trains
Use synonyms
 cover long distances by burning diesel, commuting in
trains
Use synonyms
 costs less compared to any other mode of transport that operates on petrol or fuel.
For example
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, in several world nations, where exorbitant commodities prohibit people from commuting in vehicles,
such
Linking Words
 as buses or cars, more people opt to travel by train.
Thus
Linking Words
,the cost-effectiveness of the public railways appeals to
larger
Add an article
a larger
the larger
show examples
 number of commuters.
In addition
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, utilising railways for commute may
also
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 facilitate conserving the
environment
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, not only do
trains
Use synonyms
 emit the minimum amount of gases in the atmosphere, but
also
Linking Words
 have a reduced carbon footprint, creating a pollutant-free
environment
Use synonyms
. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
, recently numerous affluent countries have been enhancing their
railway
Use synonyms
 project in order to preserve the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the eco-friendly feature of the
trains
Use synonyms
 should entice the governments to subsidies the
railway
Use synonyms
 domain of transport. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that railways are a remarkable means of transportation that enable commuters to travel at relatively cheaper prices
while
Linking Words
 conserving the
environment
Use synonyms
 simultaneously, and,
therefore
Linking Words
, the governments should shoulder the
railway
Use synonyms
 networks in order to make them more convenient for public use.

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between the points for enhanced readability.
task achievement
Elaborate slightly more on each main point to provide a clearer picture to your readers.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay's argument and clearly presents your stance.
task achievement
Good usage of relevant and specific examples to support your points, which enhances the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Strong conclusion summarizing the main points and reinforcing your stance, ensuring a coherent closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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