In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast foods. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that
food
is not only for eating ,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
it is art and tradition. While
it is a commonly held belief that traditional foods
are being to
replaced by junk Verb problem
apply
foods
, there is also
an argument that it has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. In my opinion, I consider that I agree that traditional foods
had it
value and should not be replaced by unhealthy Wrong verb form
have
food
.
To begin
with, junk foods
equals bad health and body
. In other words
, fast food
can easily destroy our body
and health at least in two months, the ingredients they been used
Wrong verb form
use
is
full of chemicals and fat it does not only destroy it in Correct subject-verb agreement
are
short
- term Correct article usage
the short
it is
Verb problem
but
also
destroy
it in Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
long
-term which means after 30 to 20 years later it could ruin your memory and your Correct article usage
the long
body
. In addition
, the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
kill
your fit. Change the verb form
kills
For example
, there was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
a
studies on the fit Correct article usage
apply
body
and non fit
Add a hyphen
non-fit
body
turns out the
fit Correct word choice
that the
body
usually eats full protein meals and fruits, whereas
the non fit
Add a hyphen
non-fit
body
usually eats junk food
or food
full of fat.
Another point to consider, traditional food
usually is a home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
meals
. It is Fix the agreement mistake
meal
also
possible to say that traditional is a healthy food
full of protein and good
amount of carbs. Add an article
a good
Moreover
, it is what our ancestors ate. For instance
, the
traditional Correct article usage
apply
food
comes from a long time age
and we commemorate Correct your spelling
ago
this
food
by cooking and eating it on special occasions.
In conclusion, despite people having different views, i
believe that traditional Change the capitalization
I
food
is the
good choice of Correct article usage
a
food
it
is healthy tasty and easy to make at home.Correct word choice
because it
Submitted by alaa5942005 on
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task achievement
The essay should clearly focus on addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement. While the essay provides an opinion, it needs to delve into more depth and provide clearer arguments. Try to balance arguments and counterarguments to make your position more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your essay more coherent by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be improved by using more cohesive devices and clear linking words.
task achievement
Each main point you make should be supported by clear examples or evidence. The examples given, such as the impact on health and the cultural significance of traditional food, are valid but could be more specific and detailed.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overly general statements. Be precise about how fast food impacts health and why traditional food is beneficial. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structure to improve readability and flow. Punctuation, in particular, needs attention to avoid run-on sentences and incomplete sentences.
task achievement
The introduction provides a clear stance on the topic, which sets up the argument for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant points about the negative health effects of fast food and the cultural significance of traditional food, which are central to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the writer's opinion, reinforcing the main argument.