In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast foods. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
food
is not only for eating
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
it is art and tradition.
While
it is a commonly held belief that traditional
foods
are being
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
replaced by junk
foods
, there is
also
an argument that it has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. In my opinion, I consider that I agree that traditional
foods
had it
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
value and should not be replaced by unhealthy
food
.
To begin
with, junk
foods
equals bad health and
body
.
In other words
, fast
food
can easily destroy our
body
and health at least in two months, the ingredients they
been used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
full of chemicals and fat it does not only destroy it in
short
Correct article usage
the short
show examples
- term
it is
Verb problem
but
show examples
also
destroy
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
show examples
it in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
-term which means after 30 to 20 years later it could ruin your memory and your
body
.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
kill
Change the verb form
kills
show examples
your fit.
For example
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studies on the fit
body
and
non fit
Add a hyphen
non-fit
show examples
body
turns out
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
fit
body
usually eats full protein meals and fruits,
whereas
the
non fit
Add a hyphen
non-fit
show examples
body
usually eats junk
food
or
food
full of fat. Another point to consider, traditional
food
usually is a
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
meals
Fix the agreement mistake
meal
show examples
. It is
also
possible to say that traditional is a healthy
food
full of protein and
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount of carbs.
Moreover
, it is what our ancestors ate.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
food
comes from a long time
age
Correct your spelling
ago
show examples
and we commemorate
this
food
by cooking and eating it on special occasions. In conclusion, despite people having different views,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that traditional
food
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good choice of
food
it
Correct word choice
because it
show examples
is healthy tasty and easy to make at home.
Submitted by alaa5942005 on

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task achievement
The essay should clearly focus on addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement. While the essay provides an opinion, it needs to delve into more depth and provide clearer arguments. Try to balance arguments and counterarguments to make your position more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your essay more coherent by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be improved by using more cohesive devices and clear linking words.
task achievement
Each main point you make should be supported by clear examples or evidence. The examples given, such as the impact on health and the cultural significance of traditional food, are valid but could be more specific and detailed.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overly general statements. Be precise about how fast food impacts health and why traditional food is beneficial. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structure to improve readability and flow. Punctuation, in particular, needs attention to avoid run-on sentences and incomplete sentences.
task achievement
The introduction provides a clear stance on the topic, which sets up the argument for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant points about the negative health effects of fast food and the cultural significance of traditional food, which are central to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the writer's opinion, reinforcing the main argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • local economy
  • employment
  • family dynamics
  • bonding time
  • carbon footprint
  • non-sustainable farming
  • nutritional value
  • healthcare costs
  • traditional cooking skills
  • cultural diversity
  • packaging
  • on-the-go lifestyle
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