Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the ultra-modern era, it is of immense debate amongst those who think
money
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should be given as a present to teenagers,
while
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the rest opine that
money
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can be harmful when handed over to teens.
This
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essay will look into both aspects prior to drawing a meaningful view. On the one hand, there are a multitude of reasons why individuals think that
money
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can be good for youngsters. The first and foremost reason is that they will become aware of the usage of the
money
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. When they receive
money
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, they will know better when to spend it or where to spend it.
Moreover
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, it will
also
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help them build their financial skills more strongly.
For example
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, if they receive toys as a gift when they are 5, those gifts will not be useful to them when they grow older. But if they get
money
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instead
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, they can save it to buy something useful whenever they wish.
Thus
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,
money
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can be helpful to them irrespective of their age.
On the other hand
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, proponents of the latter viewpoints
also
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uphold valid arguments and illustrate that
money
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should not be given to youngsters on any occasion, whether it is a birthday or the celebration of some achievement. The most significant reason is that when children are young, they do not have proper knowledge of the use of
money
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.
As a result
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, they might end up wasting it on unnecessary things.
Besides
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this
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, another reason is that they might use
money
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to buy illegal things.
For instance
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, they might buy some drugs with the
money
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without letting their parent know, and there are chances they will get addicted to them.
Hence
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,
money
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as a gift can be dangerous.
To conclude
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,
although
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gifting
money
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as a present to youngsters has its benefits, there are major drawbacks to
this
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as well , which cannot be neglected.
However
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, after considering both perspectives, I believe it is clearer that the demerits of the statement are more harmful than the merits.

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task response
Give your opinion more clearly in the body, not only at the end.
task response
Add one more clear example to support each main idea.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Explain them more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler linking words. Some parts sound too long or heavy.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and explain it fully.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow overall.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • budget
  • save
  • informed spending decisions
  • personal preferences
  • practical and efficient
  • unwanted or inappropriate gifts
  • impersonal
  • emotional value
  • thoughtfulness
  • personal consideration
  • wise financial decisions
  • frivolously
  • lasting memories and experiences
  • educational courses
  • hobby-related equipment
  • long-lasting positive impact
  • fostering interests and skills
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