Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positve development or a negative development. Give reasons for your answer and include any example from your own knowledge or experience.

Some individuals are of the opinion that electrical devices
such
as smartphones should be banned at school. From my standpoint,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
gravitate
those
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toward those
show examples
who believe blocking
phones
in schools is a negative tendency
due to
various underlying grounds.
This
essay will expound upon
this
by providing compelling reasons and practical examples.
To begin
with, there are many elements that cause
this
act. It is
due to
the fact that instructors frequently have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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doubt
Fix the agreement mistake
doubts
show examples
on
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about
show examples
their
students
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they may use
phones
in teachers' classes
instead
of
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on studying.
Thus
, it leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decreasing ability
of learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
. In the case of the young generations
relevants
Verb problem
apply
show examples
here where they often ignore lessons
on
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in
show examples
classes and play video games on their mobile
phones
.
However
, despite that thinking way, using mobile
phones
brings numerous advantages to learners. In today's world, thanks to the development of technology,
students
can look up information from the internet which
support
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supports
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to interact with advanced knowledge around the world.
Consequently
,
students
can complete themselves more easily than the previous time.
For instance
, in America,
students
who are
sicked
Replace the word
sick
show examples
could continue to learn the same knowledge
to
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as
show examples
the normal
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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through online learning apps
such
as Google Meet or Zoom. In conclusion, suspicion is the main reason why
phones
have been restricted in some schools.
Nonetheless
,
i
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I
show examples
lean toward those who think
this
is a negative trend, since completing
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
more easily than without
phones
.

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly sets the direction for your essay. Mention both sides of the argument briefly before stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your paragraphs better to enhance the flow of your essay. Transitions between ideas need to be smoother.
task response
Support your points with more specific examples, and ensure that each example directly ties back to the point you are making.
task response
Good attempt at presenting a balanced view before arguing your point.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarises your opinion and main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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