The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia

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The given chart compares the data on young attendees attending various types of dance courses from a range of

location

Fix the agreement mistake

locations

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in a town in Australia.

Overall

Linking Words

, the private

studios

Use synonyms

occupies

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occupy

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the majority of all locations,

while

Linking Words

dancers who are under

11-year

Correct your spelling

11 years

old

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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the largest numbers of students. Based on the pie chart, the private

studios

Use synonyms

, as the greatest one of all,

accounts

Correct subject-verb agreement

account

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for nearly half of

locations

Add an article

the locations

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of dance classes, with 48%. The second one belongs to the school halls, which

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

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up only half of that of private

studios

Use synonyms

. Next comes community halls & other (18%) and college-based

studios

Use synonyms

(10%).

According to

Linking Words

the bar chart, people aged under 11 who

paly

Correct your spelling

play

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ballet

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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600

student

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students

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, which is the greatest of all. People aged 11-16

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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300 less than

taht

Correct your spelling

that

of people aged under 11.

In contrast

Linking Words

, dancing modern class shows an opposite situation. The 11-16 age group has approximately 510 students, which is 210 students more than that of dancers under 11. Regarding

top

Correct article usage

the top

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dance

classe

Correct your spelling

classes

class

, both age group has

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insignificant difference.

Submitted by 842623369 on Sat Jul 06 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words studios with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

175 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

distribution
attendance
community centers
dance schools
private studios
ballet
hip-hop
contemporary
ballroom
analysis
popularity
accessibility
cost
cultural trends
media influences

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The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion?