Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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Part of

people

believe that a

lot

money

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

happiness in

life

because it can provide luxurious

life

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

with high status in society.

Nevertheless

, I feel having a self-satisfactory attitude and

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

grateful in every

situations

Change to a singular noun

situation

show examples

can really

put

Verb problem

have

show examples

a positive impact

people's

Change preposition

on people's

show examples

lives.   There is no doubt that

people

really get excited with a

lot

money

because they can live expensive

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

such

as they can buy high-rated brands, multiple cars, big

manson

Correct your spelling

mansion

mansions

house.

Therefore

, all these things offer them comfort more than enough and they feel like

King

Correct article usage

a King

show examples

or Queen.

Moreover

people

with a

lot

money

also

uplift their status in society

becaus eother

Correct your spelling

because others

start

give

Fix the infinitive

to give

show examples

them respect after watching their

lucurious

Correct your spelling

luxurious

lifesyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

Other

Fix the agreement mistake

Others

show examples

respect them so that they can get help from

roch

Correct your spelling

rich

people

some day

Correct your spelling

someday

show examples

That is

why, they always try to please the

wealty

Correct your spelling

wealthy

people

. Eventually, wealthy

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

show examples

lot

of attention from others.  

However

, I feel a feeling of self-satisfaction can make

people

happy. All they have to accept the fact that everyone on

this

earth is unique and every individual has

different

Correct article usage

a different

show examples

destiny, talent and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

way of living. So, all they have to do is be glad where they are right now, rather

comparing

Change preposition

than comparing

show examples

themselves with rich individuals.

Moreover

people

can make their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

even more cheerful with gratitude. If individuals start being grateful for every small

things

Change to a singular noun

thing

show examples

in their

life

like food, shelter, good health, family and many more, they would realise that they are living the best

life

For instance

, I personally start my day with a prayer to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

God I thank God for everything.

This

particular prayer really

uplift

Change the verb form

uplifts

show examples

my mood and I feel happy all day

along

Correct your spelling

alone

show examples

.   In conclusion, there is no denying that

money

can give

people

materialistic happiness in

life

, but having a positive attitude and

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

thankful for small things can make

people

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

from

inside

Correct article usage

the inside

show examples

, which

in other words

called

Add a missing verb

is called

show examples

"inner happiness".

Submitted by ksamandeep03 on Sat Jul 06 2024

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grammar

Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy. For example, 'bring' should be 'brings', and 'big manson house' should be 'big mansion'.

examples

Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and display a wider range of language use.

structure

The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids readability.

engagement

The essay includes a personal anecdote about starting the day with prayer, which demonstrates the writer's engagement with the topic and provides a personal touch.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Countries are becoming more and more similliar because are able to by the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages.