IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australias share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australias share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#show #japanese #tourists #australias #tourist #market #report #university #lecturer #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The supplied diagram depicts information on the vacation to
oversees
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
 by
Japanese
Use synonyms
 travellers
within
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1985 and 1995.
In addition
Linking Words
, the chart displays the proportion of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourists market in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, the listed bar chart clearly showcases the upsurging
trend
Use synonyms
 of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourists travelling abroad for 1 decade.
Also
Linking Words
, the
noteworrthy
Correct your spelling
noteworthy
 drift experienced a slight
occiliation
Correct your spelling
oscillation
conciliation
 between 1990 and 1991. To commence with,
according to
Linking Words
 the
Australias
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 share, the initial figures of
Use synonyms
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 travellers market comprised slightly more than 4
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 individuals in 1985 followed by a moderate incline in 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989 and 1990 years, resulting in a modestly fewer than 6, a solid 7, a bit more than 8, almost reached the ceiling of 10, and a firm 11
millions
Use synonyms
 of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 travellers
at the end
Linking Words
, respectively.
Instark
Correct your spelling
In stark
 contrast to the previous years of
stable
Add an article
the stable
a stable
show examples
 uprising of values, 1991 encountered a little downturn approximately of 10.5
miilions
Correct your spelling
millions
million
 of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourists. As regards the 2 following years, the
trend
Use synonyms
incosiderably
Correct your spelling
inconsiderably
inconsiderable
considerably
 went up
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a solid 12
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 1994 kicked off the exceeding
trend
Use synonyms
 with a vigorous increase of almost 14
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. Correspondingly, 1995 splendidly proceeded the
trend
Use synonyms
 with a tremendous acceleration of roughly 15.7 million
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 voyagers market.
Submitted by kirkagoglesmail on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words japanese, trend, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: