The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television.​ ​ Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support you position

Emerging technology nowadays in terms of the
internet
makes a huge impact rather than
television
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
human lives. I agree with
this
statement because the customization and fast
information
from the
internet
are what today's
people
need.
To begin
with, the
internet
has become a more attractive source for getting
information
. It allows
people
to find any
information
by customization of the
search specific
Add a hyphen
search-specific
show examples
keyword. If we compare it to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
, it will not provide any relevant topic that everyone needs.
For example
, bankers in the morning tend to find any relevant issues
such
as commodity price, stock price, and interest rate. They only use the
internet
to answer particular topics and customize the detailed
information
by using the relevant keywords.
Otherwise
,
television
only provides general
information
given from the channel.
In Addition
, Prior to 2000, majority of the
people
used
television
as a source of true
information
because it was the fastest way at the moment.
However
, in early 2010, getting
information
from the
internet
is quicker rather than
television
. A professor from Harvard University, namely Professor Paul Farmer made a report about how fast the
internet
generates
information
. The result shows that only 0,05 seconds of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
will generate relevant
information
that every single person needs.
This
advantage will be beneficial for several sectors
such
as Banking which they get fast
information
to analyse and make a position to buy or sell and
also
for entertainment few artists or celebrities are able to post their photos on Instagram for business purposes.
To conclude
, I strongly agree
Internet
has become more popular than prior to 2000 because
people
are able to seek relevant
information
through customization keywords and get or provide fast
information
from the
Internet
.
Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

detail
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, mentioning actual websites or apps that provide fast and customizable information would make the essay more convincing.
clarity
Ensure that all sentences contribute to the main argument. Some sentences can be rephrased to improve clarity and link better with the overall argument.
task
The essay addresses the prompt well and clearly states a position on the issue of the internet versus television.
structure
The introduction provides a clear thesis statement, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points.
coherence
The essay is generally well-organized with a logical flow between paragraphs.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interactive
  • Engaging experience
  • Immediate access
  • Vast amount of information
  • Educational resources
  • Personal and professional growth
  • Social media platforms
  • Communication and connection
  • Various forms of entertainment
  • Diverse interests
  • E-commerce
  • Two-way interaction
  • Consume content
  • Create and share
  • Beneficial
  • Flourished
  • Convenience
  • One-way medium
What to do next:
Look at other essays: