Some people think technology makes life complex, so we should make life simpler within using technology. Do you agree or disagree

In
Change the preposition
At
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the beginning of the Digital Age, Skills have
also
become indispensable to people’s lives.
However
, some inhabitants say that technology makes living more complicated, it seems to me that I'm afraid I have to disagree with
this
opinion.
To begin
with, technological expertise brings many benefits for both students and white-collar jobs. When it comes to students, they can use a lot of learning support tools
such
as PowerPoint, and Google to create slides for their presentations, searching information related to the lessons, and dive deeply into the questions. It is a good way to improve and develop pupils’ knowledge. In terms of employees, they have to do hand–production methods
instead
of working without using technology, and it is hard for them.
However
, by customizing machinery, they can easily use social media to connect with customers and contact
with
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apply
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guests more conveniently. Their jobs can be finished soon and straightforward with high-quality results. Another reason that makes life more trouble-free with using technology is it is a good way for citizens to let their hair down after a long day of hard work. Laboring a lot for a long time will lead to stress and pressure on workers. Technologies like a way to relax their brain, recharge batteries, ...to be able to return to work in the best condition through many different apps. Many applications help kids have fun
while
learning new knowledge, and new languages, …
In addition
, populaces can watch some entertainment programs, and play games with their colleagues or friends to find the happy, and fun, … to release stress and boosts energy for a new day is coming. In conclusion, tools have brought a big change for people from work to study in the new era. Create more positive changes in people’s lives.
However
, each person should learn how to use Automobile for the right purpose so that it becomes an effective support tool
instead
of abusing it for bad purposes.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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task achievement
Clarify the introduction: The introduction should set a clearer context for the essay and state your position more definitively.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions: Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
Strengthen argument development: Expand on your points with deeper explanations and more varied examples.
coherence cohesion
Use more academic vocabulary: Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate greater language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive sentence structures: Vary sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples: The essay includes relevant examples, particularly concerning students and employees.
task achievement
Convincing conclusion: The essay effectively summarizes the main points and restates the position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure present: The overall essay follows a clear structure that supports argumentation.
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