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Band 3

Some countries running the house rather than ranking is important for people who might be case it's just a positive or negative development.

#countries #house #people #case #development
To begin
 with, it's a dream of every youth to claim ownership of the
house
 to live in, it not only provides shelter but
also
 economic stabilities freedom and a sense of livelihood which is not possible in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rented
homes
Correct the article-noun agreement
home
show examples
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
temporary tenants are forced by
owrner
Correct your spelling
owner
 for vacating the room at any time which is stressful for everybody.
In addition
 dream of buying a home not only has a positive impact but
also
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
,
due to
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the high demand, property prices have
sky rocketed
Correct your spelling
skyrocketed
show examples
, making low salaries in individuals unlikely to afford a
house
 pushing them homeless or
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a rented
house
, a major concern for authorities
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 data published by you and state that really millions of citizens become homeless and the affordability forces to remain in depression
dueto
Correct your spelling
due to
this
 trend,it can be taken as
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 development.
To conclude
 it's always a dream for everybody to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
claim ownership of
Add an article
the
a
show examples
house
 for shelter ,freedom and security which
fail
Correct subject-verb agreement
fails
show examples
 to happen in a rented home apart from the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the property , very high making it impossible for
lower income
Add a hyphen
lower-income
show examples
 people forcing them to
being
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 homeless which can be taken as
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 development.
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader on what your essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence has a clear subject and verb to improve readability.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, rather than general statements. For instance, reference specific countries or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs fully by expanding on points with detail and evidence to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of homeownership, showing a balanced viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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