Young people today are better qualified than they were in the past. Some people argue that this is because competition for jobs is greater than it used to. Others say that people only continue their education because the opportunity exist for them to do so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People today unlike the people from yesterday,
this
is a controversial matter I will try to elaborate on my point of view according to
both opinions,
Firstly
, we should have to agree that we are living in the era of speed nowadays, which is mean
Wrong verb form
means
that
the speed of technology and artificial intelligence. In every Correct word choice
apply
department
there is an increase in competition Add a comma
department,
hence
to be capable with the demand of revolution.
This
is a good thing although
it is need
more effort to be in the first line Change the verb form
needs
,
because there are a lot of Remove the comma
apply
a
competitive folks waiting to take Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
this
chance .
As the orientation increases , the require
Replace the word
requirement
also
raises
Correct your spelling
rises
according to
the nature of the era.
Furthermore
, this
compatitive
stage already will Correct your spelling
competitive
affected
Change the verb form
be affected
affect
on
the glooming of the nation ;Change preposition
apply
therefore
, it will be the
great impact Correct article usage
a
for
taking high qualifications .
Change preposition
on
On the other hand
, when we go back with
Change preposition
to
time
Correct your spelling
the
at
Change preposition
apply
years
of
Change preposition
apply
20s
or 30s , it is a simplified Change the article
the 20s
years
, Change the noun form
year
for
example
most of the Add a comma
example,
citizen
are farmers and illiterate .
Days by Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
days
, and Fix the agreement mistake
day
years
by Fix the agreement mistake
year
years
, the community grew up by Fix the agreement mistake
year
it's
Replace the word
its
person
who Fix the agreement mistake
people
are
Change the verb form
is
a
Correct article usage
apply
creative minded
, Add a hyphen
creative-minded
beside to
the literacy eradication revolution which makes the individual more educated than from the prime nation.
Change preposition
besides
To sum up
, in the past , the
life was very simple, most people worked as Correct article usage
apply
a farmers
, there Correct the article-noun agreement
a farmer
farmers
were
no competition for Change the verb form
was
taking
jobs , even the population number nowadays Verb problem
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
compere
Correct your spelling
compared
with
the past Change preposition
to
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
very
higher, which Rephrase
much
leds
to difficult Correct your spelling
led
the
racing for jobs, Correct article usage
apply
in addition
to the time of speed and revolution.Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on
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organizational
Structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for each main idea. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
example
Use more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular technological advances or changes in the job market that illustrate your argument.
cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, using transition words and phrases where appropriate. This will improve overall cohesion.
clarity
Revise sentences for clarity and conciseness. Some sentences are confusing and could be more directly expressed.
completeness
The essay addresses both views on the topic, considering both the role of increased competition and the greater educational opportunities available today.
context
The essay attempts to provide a historical context by referencing the simpler life and lower competition levels of the past.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.