Young people today are better qualified than they were in the past. Some people argue that this is because competition for jobs is greater than it used to. Others say that people only continue their education because the opportunity exist for them to do so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People today unlike the people from yesterday,
this
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is a controversial matter I will try to elaborate on my point of view
according to
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both opinions,
Firstly
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, we should have to agree that we are living in the era of speed nowadays, which
is mean
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means
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that
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apply
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the speed of technology and artificial intelligence. In every
department
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department,
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there is an increase in competition
hence
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to be capable with the demand of revolution.
This
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is a good thing
although
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it
is need
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needs
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more effort to be in the first line
,
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apply
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because there are a lot of
a
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apply
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competitive folks waiting to take
this
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chance . As the orientation increases , the
require
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requirement
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also
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raises
Correct your spelling
rises
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according to
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the nature of the era.
Furthermore
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,
this
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compatitive
Correct your spelling
competitive
stage already will
affected
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be affected
affect
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on
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apply
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the glooming of the nation ;
therefore
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, it will be
the
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a
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great impact
for
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on
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taking high qualifications .
On the other hand
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, when we go back
with
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to
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time
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the
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at
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apply
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years
Use synonyms
of
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apply
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20s
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the 20s
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or 30s , it is a simplified
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years
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year
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,
for
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example
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example,
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most of the
citizen
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citizens
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are farmers and illiterate . Days by
days
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day
show examples
, and
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years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
by
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years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
, the community grew up by
it's
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its
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person
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people
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who
are
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is
show examples
a
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apply
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creative minded
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creative-minded
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,
beside to
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besides
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the literacy eradication revolution which makes the individual more educated than from the prime nation.
To sum up
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, in the past ,
the
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apply
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life was very simple, most people worked as
a farmers
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a farmer
farmers
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, there
were
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was
show examples
no competition for
taking
Verb problem
apply
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jobs , even the population number nowadays
in
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apply
show examples
compere
Correct your spelling
compared
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with
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to
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the past
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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very
Rephrase
much
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higher, which
leds
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led
to difficult
the
Correct article usage
apply
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racing for jobs,
in addition
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to the time of speed and revolution.
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on

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organizational
Structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for each main idea. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
example
Use more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular technological advances or changes in the job market that illustrate your argument.
cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, using transition words and phrases where appropriate. This will improve overall cohesion.
clarity
Revise sentences for clarity and conciseness. Some sentences are confusing and could be more directly expressed.
completeness
The essay addresses both views on the topic, considering both the role of increased competition and the greater educational opportunities available today.
context
The essay attempts to provide a historical context by referencing the simpler life and lower competition levels of the past.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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