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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

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In recent years, a growing
number
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 of
professionals
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, including doctors and teachers,
are
Verb problem
have
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migrating
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migrated
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 from poorer countries to developed nations.
This
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 trend leads to several significant issues,
such
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 as a reduction in the availability of experts and an increase in the cost of professional
services
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 in the home countries. To address these challenges, governments should offer more incentives and introduce scholarship programs. One major issue resulting from the migration of high-quality
professionals
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 is the phenomenon known as "brain drain."
This
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 situation occurs when a country experiences a decline in the
number
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 of
highly-qualified
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highly qualified
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 individuals over time,
such
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 as doctors and teachers, leading to a lack of access to professional
services
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 for its citizens.
For example
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, people living in rural areas may need to travel long distances to meet a lawyer in the nearest city
due to
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 a shortage of legal experts willing to work in remote locations.
Consequently
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, the high demand for expert advice tends to drive up the fees of
professionals
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 within the country,
such
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 as doctors or accountants, unless there is an adequate supply of
such
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professionals
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. To mitigate these problems, government intervention is crucial. Offering higher compensation for skilled workers,
such
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 as providing comfortable housing
along with
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 monthly housing stipends, can attract
professionals
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 to remain in or return to their home countries.
For instance
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, young
professionals
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 may be more inclined to start or continue their careers in their hometowns if they receive adequate support.
Additionally
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, governments can introduce scholarship programs that include a contractual agreement requiring recipients to work in their home country for a specified period,
such
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 as five or ten years.
This
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 approach can help reduce the
number
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 of
professionals
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 leaving for more promising regions for some time. In conclusion, government action plays a pivotal role in addressing the declining
number
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 of experts and the rising cost of hiring specialized
services
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. By providing more incentives and offering bonded scholarships, governments can help retain
professionals
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 and ensure access to essential
services
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 for their citizens.

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task achievement
The essay can benefit from a more detailed exploration of the effects of professional migration on all sectors beyond just examples like doctors and lawyers.
task achievement
Adding statistics or studies to support points can make the arguments even more compelling and demonstrate a stronger understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured, adding clearer and more varied linking phrases can enhance the perception of cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant examples, making the argument tangible and easy to understand.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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