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Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecast. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecast. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The diagram illustrates the process of producing forecasts by collecting
information
Use synonyms
 from the Australian Bureau.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are four main stages in the production of trustworthy
forecast
Fix the agreement mistake
forecasts
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, beginning with collecting
information
Use synonyms
 and ending with coverage in various ways. In the first stage, the data was collected from various sites using multiple instruments
such
Linking Words
 as satellites, radars, and drifting
buoy
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buoys
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. In the following stage, the three collected
information
Use synonyms
 were researched and forecasted before they were stored in the computer. Once, they were analysed, they were transformed into data for use in the computer. When it comes to
process
Add an article
the process
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 of preparing the broadcast, the stored
various
Correct word choice
apply
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information
Use synonyms
 in
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
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 was combined into one
information
Use synonyms
 to broadcast. After that, they were converted into materials to use in broadcast tools.
Finally
Linking Words
, the general public can be able to be informed by various tools
such
Linking Words
 as TV newsreaders, radios and recorded announcements.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words information with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 5 times.
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